Lil Wayne - Tha Carter II: Album Review

Lil Wayne, Tha Carter II (Cash Money, 2005)
Question for my 3 southern readers: Is Baby from Cash Money doing Lil Wayne's mom, and is that why he's always referring to him as his pa? Because that would just be wrong on so many levels.

THA MOBB

Think the intro from the Dynasty, only 6 times as long (nullus) and not nearly as concentrated. But still rather impressive.

FLY IN

Lil Weezer's flow has improved quite a bit from a few years ago, and particularly from that abortion of a song he did with Destiny's Child and TI (probably my least favorite rapper).

MONEY ON MY MIND

Sounds like yet another one of these dumbass Texas rap songs where the chorus is just a verse from someone else's song that's been slowed down a little bit.

FIREMAN

No homo Juelz Santana. Very teh ghey, as you might expect from a song called "Fireman."

MO FIRE

Two fire songs in a row = is he trying to tell us something? Also, what's the deal with the Shabba Ranks beat? Seriously.

ON THA BLOCK #1

What would a rap album be without several "skits?"

BEST RAPPER ALIVE

I'm pretty sure they jacked the Monks of Santo Domingo chanting thing from the next to last track (I think) from Ironman, but I could be wrong. In fact, I probably am.

LOCK & LOAD

My legally purchased copy says Kurupt is on this, but he must just be doing the chorus. Either way, this wasn't the best of ideas.

OH NO

Boring. Jay-Z fans will love this. In fact, they'll probably love a lot of this album.

GROWN MAN

Eww! A song about Lil Weezer getting his "grown man" on. It even kinda sounds like Luther Vandross. Nullus.

ON THA BLOCK #2

What would a rap album be without several "skits?"

HIT EM UP

Question: How come Trina ain't on this? Aren't they an item?

CARTER II

Also: Doesn't the fact that he can pop a boner in her presence (nullus) more or less prove that he was "tampered with" as a child? Or is that just some kind of southern thing that I'm not up on?

HUSTLER MUSIK

Yikes! Very Malaco Records.

RECEIPT

A song about Lil Weezer's feelings for Trina. Aww...

SHOOTER

L. F. Weezer gets his New Danger-era Mos Def on.

WEEZY BABY

A knock-off Dr. Dre beat, some hideous "singing," and some extra-lame Jay-Z-style rappin'. Who wants to bet this is the next single?

ON THA BLOCK #3

What would a rap album be without several "skits?"

I'M A DBOY

A sort of remake of Rakim's "Paid in Full," minus the quality but featuring the Birdman himself a/k/a Pa.

FEEL ME

A quasi-remake of that horrible Jay-Z song where he raps about how much he'll be missed when he retires. He does drop a "no homo" though, so that's kinda cool.

GET OVER

A dedication to all the homies in the ghetto, or some shit. Lots of really bad singing.

FLY OUT

Similar to the intro, only about a third shorter, thankfully.

COMMENTS: Album of the year. Southern rap fans and Jay-Z fans alike will both find this incredible. Or whatever. Anyway, here's something else I was wondering: Do you think L. F. Weezer got with Trina because Jay-Z (clearly his idol) got with Beyonce?

Damn.

BEST TRACKS: The first two tracks are genuinely pretty good.