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When will D'Angelo die?

Just in case anyone's interested, it looks like D'Angelo actually won't be dying.

As can be seen above, his H2 is pretty dang fucked up - especially when you consider that Hummers are supposed to be pretty tough cars - but amazingly, not unlike Bruce Willis in Unbreakable, he somehow managed to escape without so much as a single broken bone.

Or so says the jig he has conducting spin control:

Archer and his lawyer/business adviser, L. Londell McMillan, said the injuries weren't serious. They said he was banged up and bruised but apparently had no broken bones.

"He has no cast on his body," McMillan said in a phone interview from his New York office. "He's walking around and he's certainly talking."

In an earlier statement, McMillan said, "He is anxious to finish the recording of his soul masterpiece that the world has patiently awaited."

Hey, speak for yourself, buddy!

But seriously, if there's a lesson to be learned from all of this, it's that if you're going to drive drunk, wear a safety belt. Seriously.