The Real World: Austin - Episode 14: Episode Summary
My Internets situation is still kinda fucked, but of course I wasn't about to miss an episode of the Real World. After all, a man has to have priorities.
So this week's episode begins with Johana dressed up like an eskimo, reminiscing about some unaired incident in which she got loaded on vodka and started going off on some guy riding this weird bicycle. Forshadowing, anyone? Her problem, according to the fat fake army nurse is that she has no "in between buzz."
Danny decides that he might get jealous when Melinda starts bringing guys home and so he writes her a letter that basically says, I still don't want to date you, but I might want to fuck you from time to time. So I guess her intention now is to fuck other guys and make him jealous so that he might fuck her. She dresses up accordingly in history's greatest shirt (if you can call it that) and goes out dancing.
Johanna, who's obviously got some issues, goes out, too and drinks about as much as I would, except that I'm roughly the equivalent of three Johanna's, seriously. What's her deal, anyway? You would think that if this was some sort of sexual thing, that she could probably find some guy. She must've had some sort of weird sexual experience as a child. A woman that good-looking is destined to become a victim at some point anyway.
Either I missed it or they didn't show it, but she ended up stealing a flower from a street vendor (probably one of her cousins) and getting arrested for public intoxication. Danny and Wes, who obviously don't know any better, do a few more shots and head down to the Travis County jail at 1:30 AM. Fortunately, they manage not to get locked up and anally raped, but "the latino" wasn't coming home one way or the other.
Danny and Melinda have a little incident wherein Danny comes home with some numbers on his arm (supposedly for Wes and Nehemiah) and she starts crying and pretending to have a breakdown and what have you. Which I'm sure presents a huge dilemna for Danny. I don't know if even I'd want to go there anymore, but I'm sure pretty difficult to live in the same house with it and not have that kind of access to it, if you know what I mean.
This whole situation would be so much more cut and dry if it weren't for two very big reasons, which I'm sure I don't have to explain to most of you. So it turns out that Danny did get a number, but of course he's not going to tell her that. Instead, he turns the whole situation around on her, as if she's the psycho for thinking he would try pick up on other chicks - a pretty smooth move if you ask me.
Johanna ends up getting off with a little community service and is picked up from jail by some guy who obviously knows an opportunity when he sees it. I might have to start hanging around the jail on Saturday mornings.
NEXT WEEK: Yet another all-time low for the series.
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