Raven Symone is a disgusting fat lady

Not to reveal too much about myself, but today's TRL was hosted by Shia Lebeouf, Amanda Bynes and Raven Symone. I would've switched it over to whatever was on VH1, but the remote was about three feet out of reach, and I wasn't about to get up.

Anyway, how much more disgusting is Raven Symone going to get before there's some sort of intervention? While basically all female child stars aren't nearly as hot when they grow up (yes, even Alyssa Milano), this beast is pushing severe Carnie Wilson territory.

Prediction: Within five years, she'll be in some reality show about her getting a gastric bypass operation. If we're lucky, she may be the first celebrity to die from the procedure. Or does that only happen when poor people get them?

And at least Carnie Wilson has got that first Wilson Phillips album to her credit. Don't front, "Hold On" was one of the better songs from the early '90s. Raven Symone has never, at any point, even by accident, done anything at all worthwhile in her life. She never will.

I'm convinced that Disney only keeps her on the payroll because they're afraid that if they fire her, people will think it's because she's fat and they'll lose some amount of money that's presumably more than what they're currently paying her. And also because there's some kind of government conspiracy to keep young black women disgustingly overweight.

ALSO: Interestingly enough, this woman is 20 years old, which makes her not that much younger than myself. I might have to holler at the Disney Channel about getting my own show.