Tony Yayo, Thoughts of a Predicate Felon (Teh G-Unit, 2005)
Usually, I won't even bother with these albums by rappers' weed carriers unless I'm just trying to have fun with them, nullus, but I figured this might be a case like that Teh Ghey album, where there were a few pretty good beats. That's not the case here at all.
INTRO
Very similar to that one Ice Cube album intro where he's in jail. In fact, this could be the same thing. I don't care enough to go check.
HOMICIDE
Similarly, the chorus to this may or may not be a reference to an old Cypress Hill song. This is like 1991 all over again, minus the quality. As if the beat wasn't bad enough, his delivery on the chorus (think Ja Rule singing Barney or some shit) makes this entirely unlistenable.
IT IS WHAT IT IS
This is aiight, I guess. The beat kinda drowns out his vocals, not unlike "So Seductive."
TATTLE TELLER
One of the keys to being a great weed carrier is not letting anyone else know that you're the one holding onto the bag. Not everybody knows that.
SO SEDUCTIVE
The big single. I like it just like everybody else. Don't let it confuse you though: There's nothing else like this on here.
EASTSIDE WESTSIDE
This beat has got some thumpety thump to it and might have made for an aiight Fiddy song, but Tony Homo does like everything possible to ruin it. The part where he breaks into a New Edition song in the beginning of the second verse is kind of amusing I guess.
DRAMA SETTER
Wow. This could very well be the worst Eminem production ever. And that's saying something.
WE DON'T GIVE A FUCK
One of the ones that features Fiddy and Lloyd Banks, plus Olivia the Man on the chorus. Something is very, very wrong with the beat though. This is downright obnoxious.
PIMPIN'
Anytime a rapper can make misogyny on this level almost not amusing that's certainly saying something.
CURIOUS
Featuring Joe (you know, the bald singer), I guess this is supposed to be like that one Teh Ghey Unit song that was big a couple of years ago. How come that seems like such a long time ago?
I'M SO HIGH
Real bad West Coast sounding shit. Like something that would be on one of those No Limit Snoop Dogg albums. The drums on this sound just like a motherfucking ringtone. Seriously.
LOVE MY STYLE
The other track on here that's kinda good, this one samples that Britney Spears song "Toxic," of all things. Again, seriously.
PROJECT PRINCESS
I'm pretty sure Kool Keith did something similar to this on Matthew. In fact, has anybody else noticed that these Teh G-Unit beats are starting to sound more and more like Matthew-era Kool Keith? Did Tony Homo just tell a bitch he would eat her "fur burger?"
G-SHIT
This sounds very similar to something that was already on one of these Teh G-Unit albums.
I KNOW YOU DON'T LOVE ME
This might do a little bit better than that other song with Fiddy and Lloyd Banks, since Fiddy sings on the chorus not unlike he does on all his big hits. Did Lloyd Banks just say "microwave a nigga like Adolph Hitler?" These TIs will do anything for a buck.
DEAR SUZIE
For my younger readers and those not as well-versed in prison culture, a suzy is a sex toy made by filling a rubber glove with vaseline and then letting it sit near a space heater for a while. I saw something about it on HBO as a child, nullus.
LIVE BY THE GUN
This also sounds very similar to some other Teh G-Unit song.
COMMENTS: Wow, this is a real abortion of an album. I know I said all the other Teh G-Unit stuff I heard was bad, but this would then be bad even compared to that. Which basically makes this the worst shit ever.
BEST TRACKS: "So Seductive" "Like My Style"
