The Real World: Austin - Episode 8: Episode Summary
Is it just me, or is Danny overplaying this whole "my mom just died" thing. I mean, she was a crackhead, right? That's what crackheads do, Danny, they die. We're treated to no less than 5 separate scenes this episode where Danny just busts out in tears and starts going on about how he should've been there, damnit.
Wes and Necromancer go to a Chipotle (I saw those out in NY, are they any good?) to have both burritos and a moment together. Wes is cool with his parents as long as he's not in the dog house. Negrodamus has never met his father (or has he?) and has issues with his mother because she's a crackhead. In fact, he's not even sure where she's at right now. Maybe she'll croak this season, too.
As if that wasn't enough gotdamn whining, Melanie spends the entire episode going on about how she misses Danny. Meanwhile, Pasty White Bitch is dating a motherfucking Murderball-style paraplegic! That's some hilarious shit right there. It would be interesting to know what they do, you know, sexually. I mean, I know she's a virgin and all, but he must have some kind of nub that she tickles.
I'll admit, as wrong as it is, I fucking rolled when this kid showed up at the airport in his little wheelchair looking like a happy-ass handicapped Ryan Adams. When the cabbie tried to pick him up and put him in the van, she was like, "No, he can do it!" I wished he would just be like, "Bitch, the meter is on. Pick his ass up and let's go!" You can see the rest of the gang just like, "What the fuck is this bitch doing bringing a cripple up in here?" as she rolls him into the house
The gang and Lil' Handi go out to the bar for drinks and dancing. It was hilarious watching her trying to dance with him in that wheelchair. You can tell that, despite her reminding the camera like 8 times in a five minute span how well adjusted he is, he hates his life and would throw himself out of a window if only he could hoist himself up that high. Seriously, I heard like pretty much all handicapped people are suicidal to a certain degree. Can you blame them? They can't FUCKING WALK.
So she wheels Lil' Handi back to the airport and they have a little moment (did the nub just get tickled?) and he's off to The Home or wherever he came from. Nehemiah's mom, the supposed crackhead calls and warns him not to drink too much. Odd that she didn't sound that much like a crackhead on the phone, despite the fact that Neurosurgeon claims he's never seen her sober. Hmm...
NEXT EPISODE: Wes finally gets laid. PWB is none too pleased.
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