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Hunzilla is a young metal band from Bethesda, MD - just outside Washington, DC. In the photo above, 3rd from you left is Tim Canalichio, vocalist and bass player for them who recently sat down for the olde q&a with yours truly. I can't imagine that very many of you "me watch BET" types will be that interested, but whatever.
I hadn't really planned to write one post about this hurricane, let alone two because honestly I don't really care that much. I know that's bad or whatever, but it's also true. But then the last couple of times I've turned on the TV, all I've seen is pictures of jigs running out of Wal-Mart toting cases of John Daniels.
First of all, I guess there's this thing where the media has been portraying black people as having "looted" merchandise while white people have merely been "finding" the same shit.
Which I can't say that I found all that surprising. While I was at The Station's job yesterday picking up a surf and turf burger, I noticed that all of the media's "black people looting" footage consisted of one short loop of jigs running out of a Wal-Mart with bottles of what looked like alcohol, not unlike their questionable footage of Palestinians dancing in the street after 9/11.
In fact, in all of the TV and Internets news coverage of this shit that I've seen so far, this looting business has only been portrayed as jigs trying to take advantage of the situation. Any coverage of the actual merchandise taken has mainly focused on alcohol, TVs and jewelry, not the things that might save people's lives like food and clothing.
The message here is clear:
A white man's property rights > A jig's life
In what could go down as the most hilarious moment in hip-hop all year, three British dudes have recorded a song going at Common for his views on interracial dating.
Apparently, Common said something on his new album to the effect of, "There shouldn't be any interracial relationships." I would check but I deleted that shit way back around the time I reviewed it (i.e. before it was even out).
Obviously this hit close to home for these dudes. I don't know what it's like over there, but it sounds like interracial dating (i.e. black dudes and white chicks) is fairly, um, common. Maybe one of our "furriner" readers can enlighten us.
The previews hinted that there may be some more static between Negrodamus and whatever the fat fake army nurse girl's name is. Is it bad that we're like 10 episodes into this shit and I can't even remember half these people's names? I'm sure all this High Life I've had isn't helping matters.
Wes goes out and ends up meeting some creepily hot uber-skinny white chick. He brings her back to the house to score, but it's obvious his game or whatever isn't going over so well. You can tell this is the kind of young broad that doesn't know shit about shit, not to be confused with most old broads that don't know much about shit.
My favorite is when he told her something to the effect of, "You're the kind of women that I could see myself making changes for." I'm gonna have to remind myself to use that one. Meanwhile, Rachel (that's her name!) makes it clear that she'll do anything short of walk into a bar, lift her skirt and yell, "Who wants this pussy?"
Club Nouveau basically tells her as much minus the disturbing visual, which sets off an odd shouting match. She throws some kind of weird bitch fit in which she attempts to make him shut up by shouting as loud as she can not unlike an 8-year-old would do, and then she stomps off into her bedroom. Seriously.
Nehemiah couldn't help but just sit there and laugh. I would've preferred if he would've went all Angry Black Kevin and tried to argue back, but him sitting there giggling like he just found a Now & Later or some shit was amusing, too. Did everbody just hear her say, "I hope you get shot out in the street some day?"
As an aside, does anybody else remember that one broad that Boring White Sportscaster Kevin was dealing with on Back to New York? The one who was supposedly in Maxim but then turned out to be like 15? I know I'll never forget.
As anybody could've predicted, Wes and Johanna went out and she was all over that cracka-ass cracka like white on rice. But why so all of a sudden? Is her green card running out? There may be work for her down in New Orleans, or in my bedroom. Which ever one would pay better.
Actually, the deal here is obvious: She saw the level of pussy he's been bringing home these past couple weeks and had to check herself. She's hot but she's not that hot. I'll take that young skinny broad over her every day of the week and twice on Tuesday, not to mention the blonde. I'd probably do something similar if I had a camera crew following me around 24 hours a day. Well played, Wes. Well played.
Meanwhile, it becomes clear if it wasn't already that Rachel's whole psycho hose beast routine is just a huge cry for attention. I guess an ugly girl's gotta do something. Personally, I'd never bang a girl that was in Iraq. My dick might catch cancer or something.
NEXT WEEK: Necromancer has the same moment that most other black dudes on this show have had at some point.
This post is part of:
So yeah, I'm home, I've had my coffee and hence I'm back in the mood for assholery. Nullus. I'm probably not going to have the time to get into this today because later on I have to go clothes shopping with my mom (yep, just like an 8-year-old) and then the Real World comes on tonight. Maybe tomorrow.
But anyway, I've heard that there was some sort of storm in New Orleans. Which is unfortunate. I heard that everybody that could afford to skipped town and left a buncha people there to just kinda die. Not that we just lost a cancer cure or anything, but of course it's bad anytime people die because life is precious and god and the bible.
I read at the CCR Media yesterday that the damage could be something like $10 billion, which is just amazing. And that got me to thinking: Who's going to clean this shit up? I don't really like being outdoors, but for the right price I'd be willing to relocate for a few months and shovel the remains of dead Cajuns into a truck.
With the operative word there being right price. Of course there exists a whole class of people for which basically any price is the right price. And with the lawn mowing season coming to a close, I'm sure there's no shortage of them available. Not that there ever could be a shortage of them, due to both geographic and cultural reasons.
The only thing is - and I know this from having lived in tornado country - usually when some shit like this happens, all the good jobs go to mafia-run construction companies. So it'll be interesting to see what happens here.
On the other hand, while searching for a picture to attach to this, I ran across a report that jigs have now begun to run up in abandoned stores. So it's not like the black community completely lost out on this.
Children, your father just had one of those mornings that only ever happens to heavy beer drinkers. So I think I'm just going to take the rest of the morning off and catch you homos sometime later this afternoon. Nullus.
I'm assuming this was "released" to generate interest in Detox (which apparently may actually be released this fall) and is not the actual lead single.
Because it's not that good.
I mean, this sounds like so many other songs he's put out since like '99. And he doesn't even put out that many songs.
Teh Ghey, who probably wrote this, pops up about 2/3rds of the way through and raps a little bit about his various beefs.
Today's review of Kanye West's new Late Registration is one of the most glowing album reviews that I've read at Pitchfork in a while. Granted, they didn't lavish it with the big 10.0, but have you read the actual text of the review?
Contrary to popular opinion, hubris does have a righteous appeal. Those who claim Kanye West's antics hinder his work are missing the point. His self-importance is obvious, but the arrogance that comes pre-packaged with his insecurity is what makes West the most interesting hip-hop figure of the past five years. That's the reason he landed on "Oprah" and the cover of Time Magazine last week, rather than 50 Cent or Nelly or Slug. It's not sales; it's souls.
And it goes on from there.
Not that I was especially surprised they would give the album such a positive review. Late Registration, like its predecessor, will go on to be one of the most critically acclaimed albums of the year. But the author of the piece writes it as if he's auditioning to have anal with the artist.
The thing is, he just might be.
You would think that the biggest music review site, for one of the biggest albums of the year, wouldn't have a guy who built a fucking shrine to the artist in question write the review. I know Pitchfork has had their issues in the past with questionable journalistic practices, but at the time I was willing to chalk that up to just one lone nut-job.
UPDATE: Today's article about Pitchfork in the Liberal Jew-Run Media has been "liberated" below, for posterity.
I see I've managed to run afoul of some gay fake newspaper. If this was just a matter of a few homos getting pissed off about my "no homo" routine, then that would be one thing. I mean, it's happened before. But these fruits try to paint me as being some kind of hip-hop Fred Phelps.
Sez the fruits:
Kanye, who landed on the cover of Time magazine this week under the headline “Hip Hop’s Class Act,” is now facing criticism from some hip-hop bloggers for his pro-gay stance.
“Kanye’s momma was one of these intellectual bitches who couldn’t keep a man around,” wrote Bol Guevara, editor of ByronCrawford.com, one of the leading hip-hop Web sites in a posting titled “Let’s hunt and kill Kanye West’s Mother.”
“You can tell his mom tried to dress him up like Alfonso Ribeiro from ‘Silver Spoons’ and had him doing all kinds of faggoty shit.”
You'll notice that they won't try to argue with any of my actual points, but just pull quotes from posts that don't have anything to do with this MTV shit just to make me look bad.
First of all, I'm not seeing anywhere in that quote where I'm criticizing him for "taking a pro-gay stance." But also, anytime I see a woman who can't keep a man in the house and is hence forced to raise her children in the kind of neighborhood that no one would live in by choice, I consider that a reflection of her character.
We can go back and forth about whether or not being raised by women makes someone gay, but I think there's evidence that suggests this might be true, not unlike how being in prison can turn a straight man gay. The current state of the AIDS epidemic in the jig community lends credence to both of these theories.
Guevara is oddly obsessed with Kanye’s remarks. In a post late this week, he wonders if Kanye and John Legend are “having anal.” Two days earlier, he posted a disturbing rant about a dog he thinks is gay.
Not only does he advocate killing the dog for humping a piece of furniture, but adds, “The thing about it is, if a human being were to come up to you with that shit, it would easily be cause for a justifiable homicide. I mean, people have argued that gay rage shit when gay dudes just looked at them wrong; if Matthew Shepard had whipped out his unit and started going to town on Aaron McKinney's leg, there wouldn't be all these specials on HBO and what have you.”
OK first of all, I don't think that dog is gay; I know it is. Nullus! I've witnessed it getting head from another male dog (also gay). Nullus again, shit! And what's with this saying I'm "oddly obsessed with Kanye's remarks" - I guess trying to make it seem as if I sit around wondering whether or not Kanye bufus John Legend?
Clearly that post was about me examing a Tall Israeli-orchestrated media cover-up. The fact that Kanye West is gay had nothing to do with it. If Kanye owned a collection of skin lamps and went on TV talking about how anti-semitism is the antonym of hip-hop, I would have written about that. There's evidence that I might have to at some point.
Furthermore, I'll go on record right now as saying that I will not allow myself to be sexually assaulted by anyone or anything (unless it's an attractive women, in which case it wouldn't be an assault as much as an early birthday present). To argue against this point would be to argue in favor of rape, which I guess wouldn't be surprising coming from a community in which it's considered hip to knowingly give each other the AIDS virus.
So I guess this is supposed to be Teh G-Unit's response to Teh Game's "300 Bars." Which makes me wonder why it took like months for this to come out.
It's not like they put any real time into making it. Where as the Teh Ghey version was at least remarkable in that it went on forever and had like 30 different beat switches, I'm pretty sure this isn't actually 300 bars.
Could it be that this was specifically designed to coincide with the release of that shitty Tony Homo album, and whatever else they have coming out this week? Maybe somebody will get shot again at Hot 97.
Also, I notice Ma$e is on this talking about shooting people and shit. What's up with that? And I guess this means Teh G-Unit will be beefing with Dipset now?
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