Gay dog warning

There I was yesterday sitting on the couch in my living room or whatever watching Sunday night's episode of Entourage, which my roommate had DVR'd, when, all of a sudden, his dumbass dog just comes up out of nowhere and starts humping the shit out of the couch right next to where I was sitting.

Then he yelled at it a little bit and so it climbed up on the couch and looked like it might be about to go for him, but I guess it knew better and so it went back on the ground near the door, where my roommate's tiny, shrieking girlfriend's tiny, diseased-looking rodent of a dog started blowing it. Keep in mind that these are both male dogs we're talking about.

So here's the thing, I don't know what the deal is with this damn dog - maybe it's having a bad month or whatever - but if it would've come anywhere near me with that nasty shit, I would've punched the damn thing as hard as I could in its face. If I would've killed it, then so be it. If I would've blinded it or caused it permanent brain damage, I don't give a fuck.

Remember, I've killed dogs before for lesser reasons than this.

The thing about it is, if a human being were to come up to you with that shit, it would easily be cause for a justifiable homicide. I mean, people have argued that gay rage shit when gay dudes just looked at them wrong; if Matthew Shepard had whipped out his unit and started going to town on Aaron McKinney's leg, there wouldn't be all these specials on HBO and what have you.

So there you have it, my PETA friends. This is one situation in which I'm willing to treat an animal the exact same way I would treat a human. If that gay motherfucker comes up to me on any kind of weird sex shit, I'm going to kick the shit out of it if I'm standing or punch its lights out if I'm sitting. Then I'm going to stand up and kick the shit out of it.