Exclusive: Jay-Z plans comeback

I ran into my homey G recently (no homo). G’s name has been changed to protect his identity since this post might get out and fuck up his game. Anyways, G is a somewhat well known producer who happened to produce one of the biggest hip hop songs for one of the biggest hip hop stars in 1999. He also happens to be working very closely behind the scenes with Rapstress Foxy Brown. I asked G how progress on her album was coming, since she happens to be the only female emcee currently working within the music industry machine that I’m interested in hearing what she has to say.  He said everything was going well, shit was hot and that we can expect a July/ August 2005 release.

Knowing that G’s always in the studio with Fox Boogie, I asked him how Jay Z was handling his new position as President of Def Jam and head honcho A&R. G responded that Jay was extremely supportive of Fox, anything she needed in order to get this project moving was hers, the whole carte blanche thing. Not satisfied with that answer, I pressed, “Yo, isn’t Jay like, a little weird sometimes?” G instantly had this look on his face like he knew exactly what I was talking about, but seemed tentative to share, since he’s in a good situation and in no way wants to jeopardize his hustle, and lord knows niggas these days need to keep a good paying job. He answered in a whispery voice, “Yeah man, Jay is mad cool, but these days, all he does is rap!” “I mean, like, for real ALL this nigga does is rap, non stop.” “Niggas be ordering late nite dinner (on account of late hours recording in the studio) and he’s effin rapping. We might take a break from work and get into some NBA Live or some X-Box and this nigga’s rapping. The other day, Jay went in the bathroom to take a shit and all we hear is him grunting and effin rapping.”

WTF? So, I’m like “word, does dude ever just talk to ya’ll?” G answered, “Man, last week Fox had a real important question about a particular song and dude answered her in rhyme, straight up. The hard part is that we all respect Jay incredibly, and dude is really extending himself on this project, what with his and Fox’s history and the whole Brooklyn thing, and true, shit nigga be rhyming about is fiyah, but sometimes, just sometimes, I’m feeling like telling dude to just shut the Fuck up!!!!”  Then G drops the bomb, “Jay Z is rhyming like he’s about to record a new album. He just effin jacked Bleek for like the hottest track on his album “Dear Summer,” and now he’s trying to jack Fox for like four hot beats of her own!!!”

Apparently, Jay read my post about his not so great oratorical skills and, being that I struck a very sensitive nerve, decided to retreat into his little rapper’s cocoon. I’m glad I helped dude realize his speech impediment and assisted him greatly in coping in the only way he knows how. Shawn Carter is extremely fortunate that as a retard, not only has he found a way to communicate effectively to the outside world, but his sole manner of communication continues to yield him a fortune financially. I wish I was able to join him in some of the board meetings with some of those cracka ass crackas and tall Israelis that run Def Jam and the Universal Music group, because seeing him rap to whitey, in response to their questions would be priceless.  Sheet, those very same crackas and Israelis damn near owe me a royalty on his next LP, being that he has finally realized that without rapping, there is no Shawn Carter and no Jay Z. As Bol mentioned in his earlier post, it’s safe to say that we can expect a new joint from Mr. Carter either later this year on at the top of next year. Holla!