Super Smokers Barbecue

As long time readers of the sight may know, I spent a few months last summer, after I had graduated from college, working in the barbecue industry for a company named Super Smokers. The Station had worked there at some point, I'm not sure exactly when (I was probably in college at the time), and probably a good half of the guys I know have worked there at some point in time or another in the last 10 years.

My roommate, Fisher the Cracker, was some sort of low level manager there, which basically meant that he stood out back for 6 hours a day, talking on the cell phone to his fat, Mexican girlfriend. Sometimes, he would take this hose and spray it against the side of this huge walk-in refrigerator back there, just to appear to be busy, but other times I would go out there and dude would just be crying like a little bitch. Anyway, he convinced me to switch to working there from The Asshole, where I had been working, because it would be less teh ghey. No homo.

Long story short, it was about equally as teh ghey, but it took like 20 minutes longer to get there than it did White Assholes. I tried to get the manager there to get me the kind of raise that would be worth my while, but everytime I asked him when my shit was coming (no homo), somebody would be out of town, or hadn't had a chance to check his email. One day, he even had the sheer balls to be on the phone with the dude who controlled my pay while I was standing right there. When he got off the phone, I mentioned it to him, and he was like, "Yeah, he said he'd check his email tonight."

So I didn't last too long at that job. But while I was there, I got to learn a lot about barbecue, which was cool. Unlike at other resturants, which aren't as classy, the meats at Super Smokers are dry rubbed and slow smoked. You can read more about the process, which really is fascinating, here. One thing that you can't read about on that site though, and what I'm about to reveal to you here, is the top secret ingredient which has led to Super Smokers being the only barbecue operation in the St. Louis area to win at the World BBQ Championships held annually in Memphis.

That secret ingredient? You guessed it, human piss.

I know, I was shocked too when I learned that the secret that gave Super Smokers BBQ its unique taste was that its employees, mostly the male ones, would pee on the pile of wood that was kept out back to be used in their smokers. The wood, of course, doesn't come into direct contact with the meat, but the smoke that is produced when it's burned slowly cooks the meat over the course of several hours. I'm not sure what exactly the piss adds to the process, but I did always notice that their meat had a certain citrus-y flavor. Again, no homo.