Even though this week, for the fourth time in as many weeks as I've been doing this, I received an email from somebody who is somewhat famous, I'm going to hold off on that and instead make this week's edition of the hate mail bag a special all djhaze edition.
DJ Haze, in case you aren't already aware (and why would you be?) is a young, Italian fellow from Poor White People, Pennsylvania. A devout Catholic, he was often forced to give head and take anal as a young alter boy. Now in his early 30s and working as a delivery boy for Big Lou's Famous Pizzaria, he takes out his frustrations by starting flamewars with black people on "Internets" message boards.
After having a weird, embarassing, protracted argument with himself all last night in the comments section to this post, he sent me this:
Listen up homes. I dont play this e gangsta shit. You want to take this to another level - try me. Im not clide smith or odub. Now we can dead this like grown men, or you gonna try and get cute and take this to a place that doesnt have to be gone to. I really dont think thats a good idea...Im willing to dead this though. So whats the next step?
12025 Dorsett Rd.
Maryland Heights, MO 63043
12259 Kingshill Drive
Creve Coeur, MO 63141
To which I responded:
That's the address to my old job (do a Google on 12025 Dorsett Rd.) and my parents' house and two email addresses I used back when I was in college. So what's your fucking point?
Sez the Italian:
my point is this shit doesnt need to escalate. Seriously you want me to find you? Its really not that hard homes. I would rather we dead this bullshit instead of turning this into a big war like you tried with odub and clide. Casue i really dont think your a bad dude, i just spoke some honest shit. If you feel you have to attack me though for pride, ego, or insecrutity, feel free. But i will end these games real fast. Im not gonna bring this nonsense to my blog casue thats all it is, nonsense. So seriously are we gonna have to do all this? Lets just dead it now. Aight?
Sez Bol Guevara, MD:
How about I just call your bluff? You can generally find me here
12259 Kingshill Drive
Creve Coeur, MO 63141
Except when I'm here
15909 Manchester Rd.
Ballwin, MO 63011
Which is more often than not during the day. If you feel like you need to come see me, then go ahead and come see me. No homo. But you will not dictate what I write or what I don't write on my site, and that's all there is to it.
As if Big Lou would even give him two days off in a row from delivering pies to come looking for me at the motherfucking Big Gay Mart. Instead, he's apparently now sending somebody (maybe one of his relatives from St. Louis' "Dago Hill" neighborhood) to come and get me:
thats fine toughguy. do it up then. Im not gonna come see you. But there is some people that just might. Do what you gotta do. Peace.
At a loss for further ways to pretend to be gully (writing is obviously not this kid's forte), this morning he sent me this email threatening to sick his cousin Paulie from paralegal school on me:
thats cool. but if this gets personal i will be talking to my lawyer on the serious tip. My friend in law school has allready advised me that what you have been doing bol is considered type 2 harrasment, with clide, odub, and that address of thouse people that you put up of that highschool kid, and your site can be suspended and legal action can be taking against you. For things such as slander and defamation and harrassment. As i said im not playing any games. Send your message or do what you have to do, go post that im gay or my site sucks and this and that, but try getting personal with me and i will make sure that you regret it. I will not tolerate some punk on a blog trying to drop my info and cause me nonsense. I could have been a prick and gave all your info and tele out to a public that would love to rip you a new asshole, but i have a little decency. Keep within that context homeboy and i dont give a fuck what u say bout my website or if u call me some names. That shit gives me more hits. But if i see my telephone, address, govt name or anything personal of that nature, we will reslove this legally. That is why i warned you the first time, casue with your address and tele, coming to you legally is not an issue at all. Have fun. Peace.
LOL at this kid being the first Blogger to run to the motherfucking cops. You fucking snitch. As if I need to post your government name and your address to make sure nobody ever takes you seriously again. Remember, you're the one who dug up my personal information trying to threaten physical violence against me. If I was a rat like you, I could've run to the police with that shit a long time ago.
And why all the anxiety about me revealing your whereabouts anyway? Is your family in the witness protection program on some Goodfellas shit? Because that would certainly explain your snitch nature, the fact that you live in Poor White People, Pennsylvania and your... um, Italian-ness.