The Bravery - The Bravery: Album Review

The Bravery, The Bravery (Island, 2005)
The Bravery, who, apparently, formed about 2 years ago and had one previous EP that came out earlier this year, are the current Next Big Thing in the NYC disco rock scene (which is truly one of the finest scenes in all of music, I might add). I read about them a while ago in, I think, both Rolling Stone and Entertainment Weekly, which lets you know that they're receiving that proper major label push. It's just too bad that their music fucking sucks. This has to be the most unjustified hype that I've seen in the music industry since at least last week.

AN HONEST MISTAKE

Talk about a motherfucking intellectual property lawsuit waiting to happen. Even if this "sampling" was officially sanctioned (and I'm assuming it was since this is being released by the Island Def Jam company), you have to admit that having the first song on your debut album be a straight rip of "Blue Monday" by New Order is pretty weak, distractingly so even.

NO BRAKES

You know what? This isn't especially different than "New Years Day" by U2. And before you go thinking, "Hey, I like both "Blue Monday" and "New Years Day," as you should, "perhaps I'll like this," I'll go ahead and answer that question for you: No, you won't.

FEARLESS

Why is it not surprising that the first song on here that isn't heavily "inspired by" some other song that I once liked is easily the worst song on here so far? Which is not to say for sure that the melody or some other element of this wasn't borrowed from some other, superior group. It's just that I just couldn't place it.

TYRANT MOUTH

Nevermind what I just said about that last song: That one is almost good by comparison to this. I don't know what it is with all of these new bands being so fascinated with the absolute worst aspects of Duran Duran, but that shit needs to come to an end forthwith.

GIVE IN

I mean, I could see if these groups were copying the videos, but not the motherfucking synths, man

SWOLLEN SUMMER

This one's actually somewhat better than the last two, just because it has a big chorus and it's more of a straight rocker than some of the more disco-y numbers on here.

PUBLIC SERVICE ANNOUNCEMENT

Wow, this is probably the most overtly disco song I've heard yet from one of these newfangled disco rock groups. That bassline and the little synthesizer squiggle during the chorus are right out of Saturday Night Fever.

OUT OF LINE

Where as I could appreciate those last two tracks on a certain level, this one is veering back towards "Tyrant Mouth" territory. As I more or less established at the outset, these dudes are only worth listening to (and even barely so then) when they're borrowing from some other group that I actually like.

UNCONDITIONAL

As far as I know, this, along with "An Honest Mistake," is one of the album's two singles. Mark my words: Neither one of these songs will blow up. In fact, I'm not even sure how long either of these songs has been at radio, so it might not be premature to call this group a bunch of fucking failures.

THE RING SONG

If the lyrics to this song weren't really, really bad, I might actually like this one. It's got a nice, summery feel to it and the drums have a nice, hip hop-like thumpety thump to them. But that chorus? Damn.

ACC

The tags on my version of this, which I purchased out of a suitcase from O-Dub's grandmother, appear to be wrong. Whatever this is, it might actually be my favorite song on here. Not that that's saying much though.

COMMENTS: So yeah, I didn't really like this one. The first and last songs on here are passable second rate NYC disco rock. Everything in between is just fucking ugly. Whoever over at Def Jam was responsible for releasing this shite (probably a white chick) should be fired and then beat up by Jay-Z.

BEST TRACKS: Um, the first one and the last one, I guess.