The Real World: Philadelphia - Episode 17: Episode Summary

So, tonight's the big Melanie gets VD / The group finishes their so-called job and gets a free, ridonkulous vacation episode. Is everybody excited? I know I am! Long story short, that scabies shit is nasty as fuck and we never really find out what exactly it is that they do. Read on for all the nasty details.

Melanie has broken out with some sort of rash. Landon, medical expert that he is, suggest that maybe she'd just chafing really bad and that maybe she should just stop wearing bras and underwear. I wasn't premed myself, but I'll go ahead and agree. Donna, from the Northern Home, takes to see an actual doctor, with a degree, who tells her she has scabies - body lice, basically. I don't know about you all, but that's some pretty nasty shit. If I was on this, I might have to go stay at a hotel for a while. I'm sure there's some law that would prevent you from having to work in that situation, but I doubt these assholes would want to blow their chances to be invited to the challenges.

Similarly, I don't really get this fuss about Landon taking over the assignment or whatever. I think the thing is, we know these assholes aren't concerned with doing a really good, they just don't want it to seem to their bosses like they're not doing any work, even though, as far as I can tell, they aren't. Fucking assholes. Honestly, I watch this shit all the time (obviously), and I have no idea what their fucking job is this year. I know they work for a football team and a home for poor, underaged jigs, but I haven't seen them do anything other than hand out some free shirts at a game and scribble a little half-assed picture of a jungle gym on a dinner napkin.

This scabies shit is just gross. The house, which is always kinda trashy looking anyway, is infested with flies. Willie throws a complete bitch-fit and claims that he's never had anything crawl inside him before. I'm assuming he's just referring to bugs, no homo. I guess it finally gets filthy enough that the gang decides to clean up. Also, a doctor is brought in to make sure nobody else catches it. Nobody else did, but to be sure, he makes them all coat themselves in some shit that looks like honey, and also shampoo their hair.

I didn't really catch the little beefs between Landon and Sara and Shavonda and Melanie, but it looks like between having to finish whatever their job is and the scabies infection, tensions are running pretty high. I guess I'd be pretty nervous too if I had to give a huge presentation to Jon Bon Jovi and I knew for a fact that I hadn't been doing anything other than drinking and arguing for the past few months. Fortunately, I don't have to give presentations at my job. Speaking of Bon Jovi, who would really be that excited to meet Bon Jovi in 2005? Not even real Bon Jovi, but old, bus driver looking Bon Jovi.

Then, a few hours later, somebody shows up with a buncha luggage filled with free MP3 players and tickets to a vacation in Fiji. Karamorosa jumps up on the furniture and damn near loses his pants. Gay Willie jums up and down repeatedly like a monkey. A gay one.