January 20, 2005
Chingy let another man touch his unit
On New Years I went to this party thrown by some fellows with whom I had gone to high school. There was this one guy there, this crazy southerner guy, apparently from Arkansas, who came up to me and was like, "Dude, it's me!" I was like, "Man, I don't really know you like that." To which he said, "It's cool, I was just really tempted to slap you in the nuts." Of course I then told him that it was a good thing he didn't because if he did, I would've had to kill him. And the thing is, I was fucked up enough that night, that I might've actually tried something stupid. I know for white guys who went to college in the South, it might be cool to touch another man's nuts, but there's just certain things that Bol doesn't do.
Which brings me to Chingy, no homo. Apparently, dude was performing at the 2005 Adult Video News Awards (already kinda gay), when one of the chicks on the stage, who was actually a dude, no homo, started grinding up against him and eventually grabbed his unit.
I'll give you a second to regain composure.
Now, on the one hand, I can't really fault the dude too much for not checking to see whether or not the chick that was grinding up on him was actually a guy. But, on the other hand, I do have to fault him for not actually killing the transvestite in question. Certainly, Sadat X, to use an obvious if not exactly current example, would have pulled out a gat and wasted that beast right there on the spot.
And here's the thing: Legally, you can get away with killing another man for touching your unit if you can prove that said touching sent you into a state of "gay panic." Clearly, Chingy is a man with the resources to secure adequate legal representation. So, I am only left to assume that your boy actually enjoyed having his thing petted by a transvetite.
That's right, you read it here (and here) folks: Your boy Chingy is a certified homosexual. Somebody get Nelly and Ludacris' people on the phone/
Byron Crawford a/k/a Bol is the celebrated author of several books, most recently NaS Lost: A Tribute to the Little Homey.
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Posted by Bol at 03:38 PM | Permalink
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