Fuck Biz Markie
One time Fitz and I went to see a Biz Markie show and this jig was just playing songs from a mix CD he had probably made up a long time ago, talking about, "You guys remember this?" I could see using CD turntables maybe, but this asshole was just using a CD player. And that was basically his whole show. He tried to do "Just a Friend" and "Vapors," but got lost after the first verse or so of each of them. On "Vapors" he just ended up turning down the music and having the crowd finish the song for him. So it obviously wasn't for his showmanship that G-Dubs Mengele is bringing him in to play his inauguration's Opportunity (read Jig) Ball. In fact, I'm sure it was just because he was the only well-recognized hip-hop artist that they could find that has absolutely no shame.
I'd just like to take this time out to state that I'm fucking through with Biz Markie. Not that I really took him seriously before, but now this fuckwad is completely off of my love list. If I ever get the opportunity to see him in person, I'm just gonna walk up to him and jack him in his face. And then I'm gonna get my $6 back, beeyotch!


when he actually uses vinyl, he's one of the best old school hip hop dj's. he plays all those reminiscent jams.
Posted by: nasdaq jones | January 18, 2005 at 02:04 PM
yeah, that shit was pretty stupid. in fact, the best part of that concert was how aggressively Kool Tobacco was marketing itself
Posted by: Fitz | January 18, 2005 at 02:16 PM
biz markie is ugly as hell. no homo.
Posted by: djxplicit | January 18, 2005 at 03:10 PM
was in the elevator w/ dude at the bayou classic.. he was popping pills to make him breathe better. dude has major sinus problems.. weird, uncomfortable breathing in the worst way.
put it this way: you would stand to his side and not in front. ever. think: possible projectile boogers.
seems like he can't close his mouth either... my gf hates his teeth... i think all that open mouthed breathing has prematurely rotted those teeth.
thoughts?
Posted by: dame | January 18, 2005 at 04:28 PM
I actually know a cat that grew up with him. He told me that the nigga is certifiably mentally slow. So it's not just that he looks and acts retarded; he was basically born on the short bus. I'm not saying he's any more deserving of your mercy, I just thought I'd share.
Posted by: Young McGreevey | January 18, 2005 at 06:28 PM
is he considered a "great rapper" or "legendary"? im saying this cause its widely known that biz pulled a kanye west and got ghostwriting from bdk.
Posted by: djxplicit | January 18, 2005 at 07:01 PM
> when he actually uses vinyl, he's one of the best old school hip hop dj's. he plays all those reminiscent jams.
Biz has one of the best old school vinyl collections of anyone in the game with test pressings of vinyl for rare breakbeat joints that DJ's wished they had even reg. versions of, but he hasn't used wax while DJ-ing in at least four years. Now he's spinning at the inaugural for those jackasses? I wanna ride with my man 'cos he's still a legend in the game but get the f-ck outta here with that bullsh-t.
Posted by: ian | January 18, 2005 at 08:13 PM
Also peep Joe from Fat Beats on the whole CD DJ thing on his blog here: http://djjab.blogspot.com/2005/01/wax-vs-world.html
Posted by: ian | January 18, 2005 at 08:15 PM
sheit, so was he mad thin now? after being on Celebrity Fat Club?
=-0)
Posted by: shab00ty | January 18, 2005 at 08:44 PM
Where the fuck is the RR/RW post?
Posted by: TZA | January 18, 2005 at 10:46 PM
>Where the fuck is the RR/RW post?
Daddy had to close at the Big Gay Mart both last night and tonight. Hence no reality TV posts. I taped them, so it might happen later on tonight.
Posted by: Bol | January 18, 2005 at 10:54 PM
Sweet, cuz I only caught a little of RR/RW challenge.
and i just missed Real World
Posted by: TZA | January 19, 2005 at 12:42 AM
"sheit, so was he mad thin now? after being on Celebrity Fat Club?"
Good question. I hate "reality TV".
I'd like to take this opportunity to mention that Mia Tyler was on that shoe...I'd smash dat.
Posted by: Al aka El Negro Magnifico | January 19, 2005 at 03:13 PM
All I have to say is that he is the most over-hyped two(mainly one)hit wonder ever.
Posted by: Rah | January 19, 2005 at 09:24 PM
I love Biz but I agree, this IS some bullshit.
In addition to a massive vinyl collection, Biz also has a massive GODZILLA collection. It's hard to get laid when you've got a massive godzilla collection around the house.
Posted by: forksclovetofu | January 22, 2005 at 03:11 PM
I bet he gonna be look good after vh1 *no homo*
Posted by: bb86 | January 22, 2005 at 07:56 PM
Biz shops with us. He lost a ton of weight. He's a pretty good customer, though not always in a good mood. I've never found him to be slow at all... actually, quite the contrary. His last cd wasn't so great, but it was decent at least. Based on past work, though, still love the B-I-Z.
Posted by: me | February 11, 2005 at 05:57 PM
Yo, If Biz sucks why did they make these killer dolls of him?
http://www.bufaloclub.com
Posted by: bugaloo shrimp | March 17, 2005 at 01:09 PM
All of those Biz Markie Haters when ever you feel that you can dis my my man from NY or any one from NY you are sadly mistaken . BIz will always represent Hip Hop
So any fucking one feels that he is superman,say it to My face, please entertain me.
Posted by: Don't Fucking matter | October 01, 2005 at 04:29 PM
Biz was a very close personal friend of mine. I can't fucking stand him and we hate eachother now but, he's far from fucking slow.. And if u saw him pop any pills it was by choice from the fuckin' GNC. I'm a beautiful woman and was w/him and ya'll can't hate on someone from seeing 1 show. You don't know if his equipment got lost on the plane or someone didn't pay him and outta' luv jus "did" the show. He's one of the highest paid dj's in the country,smart,lonnnnng money and works his ass off. ~ I hate him but, that's my baby so, watch your mouth !!!! Legend,Master,Mandingo. Whoa.
Posted by: ifuonlyknew | November 20, 2005 at 08:17 PM
I grew up with BizMarkie in brentwood, he was a professional dreamer worthy of your admiration. I prove it in my book King of the Middle Class. My account is first hand, no bullshit, no hearsay, I witnessed the making. Being stupid is why he was so smart.
Tim Larkin
Posted by: Tim Larkin | September 19, 2006 at 12:43 PM