Snoop Dogg, R&G (Rhythm and Gangsta): The Masterpiece (Geffen, 2004)
I won't lie: I never really cared for any of Snoop Dogg's other albums. Some of them (the first one and the last one, especially) had their moments, but I don't really count any of them among my personal favorites. Just based on this new single of his, I wasn't expecting much of this album either.
DROP IT LIKE IT'S HOT
It usually makes good sense to put the big single from the album as the actual first track even if it doesn't make that much sense otherwise. I'm sure there's a big chart somewhere that shows exactly how many more dollars an artist stands to make by doing so.
CAN U CONTROL YA HOE
Here's as good an example as any of why I usually end up dl'ing these Snoop Dogg albums and not even burning them to disc. I could never listen to music like this. I guess you would call it g-funk; I don't know.
This is better, but only by comparison. If Snoop rapped like this over a beat that I actually liked, he might have something.
LET'S GET BLOWN
Holy shit this is bad. Probably one of rap's all time great mysteries is Snoop Dogg's fascination with this 1983 Matthew Wilde-sounding bullshit he's always rapping on year in and year out. Like seriously, what the fuck?
UPS & DOWNS
Did he just say, "Another dirty 9-inch dick classic?" Because that would be one of the gayer things I've heard in a rap song in a while. In fact, no homo just in case. By the way, I don't really like this song either. The beat is hella basic and Snoop sounds like he's making shit up as he goes along. I'm pretty sure you have to be from Texas or somewhere to get away with shit like that.
Since I didn't see any other songs on here that were obvious remakes (Aren't there usually at least 1?), I was hoping this would be a version of the old Jodeci record. No homo. Instead, it's some kind of grown and sexy take-off of the Steve Miller Band's "Fly Like an Eagle." I'll let you guess if it's any good.
GIRL LIKE YOU
Similarly, this isn't actually a cover of the old Smithereens record. Fuck it, I want my money back.
Hopeully this is an all-time low as far as this album is concerned. Because I don't know if I could stand anything much worse than this. Snoop should finally drop weed for good and take up cocaine. Then he could hook up with Marley Marl and make his Mama Said Knock You Out.
Obviously I don't have any production credits for this, but if it really is the Neptunes that are producing all of these horrendus-ass beats, then they really should be ashame of themselves. It's not like they couldn't have just resorted to recycling that same Jay-Z/Mystikal record from 4 years ago. I mean, if they were that hard up...
STEP YO GAME UP
Oh shit, It's 50 Cent meets shitty, post Death Row-era g-funk. Daz sounds really pathetic. Snoop should just give him some money so that he doesn't have to try anymore.
PASS IT PASS IT
Remember back when songs about weed were still cool. Ah, 1993. If Eminem had to go back and erase all of the Christopher Reeve jokes from Encore, why didn't somebody from Snoop's label have him step in and not call himself "the modern day Rick James?"
NO THING ON ME
I'm pretty sure this song is about how Snoop doesn't want a guy to put his "thing" on him. (NOTE: I am so not making this up.) Seriously, does that much weed actually make you a little bit gay?
FRESH PAIR OF PANTIES
I'm officially repulsed. I need to hurry up and finish this review so that I can delete this shit from my hard drive.
COME WITH ME
Bad, bad R&B.
CAN I GET A FLICC WITCHYU
Is that a flute? I'm gonna be sick.
NO STICKS NO SEEDS
Yet another song about weed; this time about a chick who's just using him for his weed. If only I could convince a chick to let me use her for her weed. How would that work anyway?
I MISS YOU
Alright, I actually kinda like this one, even though it's such an obvious throwaway track. Snoop sings on it not unlike he did on that one track from Tha Last Meal. His voice sounds even weaker 3 years after the fact, but he doesn't let that stop him from really fucking going for it this time, even dropping all kinds of little Marvin Gaye-isms into the mix.
Anyway, this is a really fucking pathetic album. Like I said in my little intro, I don't really care for "Drop It Like It's Hot" either, but it should be noted that that song's way better than anything else on here. Never before has Snoop sounded so much like an old junkie. Weed is only really cool anyway from about the ages of 13-18. I'm not saying you shouldn't do it at all after you're an adult, but, at some point, it has to become a matter of diminishing marginal returns, or whatever you call it. On that last track, Snoop tries to front again as if he's off weed, but throughout the album it's so obvious that he does nothing but sit around all day getting chiefed and listening to shitty '80s R&B records. Somebody really needs to have a serious talk with him.
SOMETHING TO THINK ABOUT AND DISCUSS: Snoop didn't even bother to include his usual cover version on this album. Did the weed cause him to forget?