The Racist Asian American Music Critics Outreach Program
This is where the healing begins.
As no less a genius than Oliver Wang himself has stated, the blogosphere can operate under a strange logic at times. For example, who would've ever guessed that a simple little disagreement over whether or not the name of my site would appear in his blogroll with the description "the best blog ever" attached to it would lead to what can only be termed as a huge, embarassing public meltdown, with him sending me email after email filled with just, the vilest of racist imagery, the kind of hatred that could only be spawned by a Ph.D-caliber intellect gone horribly, horribly wrong?
Case in point: Today I woke up, checked my inbox and found this:
Subject: You fucking nigger piece of shitDate: 10/14/2004 3:16:18 AM Eastern Daylight Time
From: "Oliver Wang" oliverwang@earthlink.net
To: byronacrawford@nospam.netscape.net
Look nigger, Who the FUCK do you think you are posting private emails that I sent you for the whole world to see? Do you know how fucking gully I am? I once shot a little 8-year-old fucking nigger in his face for getting too close to my Honda Civic. When the cops showed up, I told them he fucking did it himself, and you know what: They fucking believed it. What makes you think that I won't hop the next fucking flight into STL and fucking karate chop the fucking SHIT out of you?
Sincerely,
Oliver
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OLIVER WANG // DJ O-DUB
http://www.o-dub.comCLASSIC MATERIAL: THE HIP-HOP ALBUM GUIDE OUT NOW
http://www.o-dub.com/classicWrites for: The S.F Bay Guardian, LA Weekly, URB, Vibe, Popmatters.Com.
http://www.o-dub.com/ontherun.htmlPop Life Blog
http://www.o-dub.com/weblog
Now, making disparaging comments about another person's ethnic background is one thing. I've been known to get a little bit nervous whenever an African American gets too close to my car as well. But when it gets to the level of threatening physical violence, even if it is just a karate chop, it's time call a "time out" to this childish little "blogger beef" that Mr. Wang (LOL) insists on perpetuating and have some sort of intervention before somebody ends up doing something to someone else that we'll all regret in the long run. If there's one thing we've learned from the Great East Coast-West Coast Rap Wars of the 1990s, it's that it's just not worth it.
With that in mind, I've taken the initiative in creating what I'm calling The Racist Asian American Music Critics Outreach Program. The purpose of this organization is very simple: Regardless of whatever ill-considered views he might hold with regard to people's various different ethnic backgrounds (I've heard he's not too fond of the Jews either), we will continue to express our love and aprreciation for him, regardless of how unwarranted it may be. And through that continued expression of love and appreciation, he will begin to see the error of his ways and will restore the name of my site to its proper position in his blogroll.
The question then becomes: How exactly does one go about expressing his love and appreciation for Oliver Wang? Again, this is where my organization comes in. Our main apparatus in the pursuance of this goal will be a letter-writing campaign to be conducted via email and perhaps even snail mail if I can find his address. Your mission as a member of this organization will be to write a letter to our little friend here expressing your deep and genuine concern for his well-being and, also, the absolute importance that my site be restored to its proper position in his blogroll and with the appropriate description.
oliverwang@earthlink.net
When you send your love notes to Oliver, be sure to post a copy of them to the comments section of this post. I'll be having a panel of expert judges review them and the reader whom we feel has written the most convincing letter will receive a copy of Purple Rain on DVD. Several runners-up will receive a copy of the Alchemist's 1st Infantry album just for competing.
If, for whatever reason, you are unable to come up with a suitable love letter on your own, I've also taken the liberty of creating the following "sample version" that you can feel free to send to him once, twice or even a thousand times depending on how much free time you have. You won't be eligible for the grand prize unless you just send it a really impressive amount of times, but I'm sure your effort will be greatly appreciated none the less.
Subject: Oliver, you dumb fucking chink...Date: 10/14/2004 10:08:14 PM Eastern Daylight Time
From: "Your Name" your@address.com
To: oliverwang@earthlink.net
Listen here bitch, I don't know what kind of video games you've been playing to think that you can go around calling black folks niggers on the Internet and get away with that shit, but whatever it is, you need to stop it and cool that shit the fuck OUT like pronto. Nobody's afraid of your little gay Chinese ass. I don't think I have to bring up the Chong Wah/Chong Fah happy box incident of 1983, now do I? Also, I don't give a fuck WHAT Clyde Smith says. You put my man's shit back on your blogroll IMMEDIATELY or there'll be HELL to pay. You do not FUCK with the BC dot C.
Sincerely,
Your Name Here
ALSO: I'm in talks with some Mexican people about having t-shirts printed up possibly as soon as the end of next week. I'll keep you posted.
Now, let's get rolling with those letters, people!
