ByronCrawford.com

Even bin Laden gets it

We agreed with Mohamed Atta, god bless him, to execute the whole operation in 20 minutes. Before Bush and his administration would pay attention and we never thought that the high commander of the US armies would leave 50 thousand of his citizens in both towers to face the horrors by themselves when they most needed him because it seemed to distract his attention from listening to the girl telling him about her goat butting was more important than paying attention to airplanes butting the towers which gave us three times the time to execute the operation thank god.
—Osama bin Laden, still putting out tapes like 2Pac

Again, my Republican friends, what the fuck is wrong with you people?

Important update regarding album reviews

I was just reading over my original post having to do with my new policy for album reviews and I realized that that's really just not fair to the artist. Therefore, I've decided to come up with a new program which I think will work out well for all of us. Basically, all album reviews will be negative from now on except for cases in which the artist or the artist's record label mails me a check for $20.

Jim Jones - On My Way to Church: Album Review

Jim Jones, On My Way to Church (The Koch Graveyard, 2004)
Now that I think about it, this probably wasn't a very good album to begin my campaign of purposely negative album reviews just because it really is the worst rap album I've ever heard before in my life. But it'll have to do for the time being. I'm going to try to find that new Jay-Z & R. Kelly album, but it'll have to wait until at least Monday because I'm about to go flip White Assholes and then have a SEMO Good Time for the next couple of days.

What Eminem really needs to do

OK, so I found an album to rip on, but it's going to take a while because it's long and I haven't even started it yet. In the mean time, I've created another post at The Shrimp which is basically about the fact that I've grown increasingly disinterested in Eminem since the Marshall Mathers LP era.

Quick programming note regarding album reviews

In between drinking, sleeping and flipping White Assholes, I've been doing a lot of thinking about the future direction of this site. In particular, the events of the past couple of weeks, with Mos Def's new partial-birth abortion of an album and all of the ensuing controversy, have made me realize that I should probably not be doing any more positive album reviews at all. I've done them before in the past and nobody really bothered to read them, and I seem to be better at explaining why something is bad, or how bad something is, than trying to give any kind of fair-and-balanced critique of an album anyway.

Personally, I'm glad the Cardinals lost

The Kind of Sports Analysis You Come Here For (See Also)
Which is not to say that I'm glad the Red Sox won. Fuck the Red Sox. I don't find winning one World Series after 80-some odd years to be all that impressive. In fact, it's pretty gay. Shit, it's almost Cubs status. But I have to admit, watching the Cardinals come this far just to have their fucking asses handed to them was just satisfying to me on a certain level.

The Real World: Philadelphia - Episode 8: Episode Summary

In the past, I've generally preferred the uptight, inner city seasons of this show (think Boston and Seattle) to the more fun and sun-oriented ones like Hawaii and this past season in San Diego. While nothing will beat those glory days of the mid-to-late '90s, I think from now on they should probably just stick to locales where the kids can rock bathing suits day in and day out.

The Ashlee Simpson Cell Phone Outreach Program

I'm not even sure what the deal with all this is anymore. A while ago, a guy (some dumb kid) sent me a number that he claimed was Ashlee Simpson's cell phone number as a joke. I knew it wasn't the real deal, but I posted it up anyway, just for shits and giggles. Turns out, it was actually the kid's own phone number and I ended up taking it down because he was getting tired of people calling him at all hours of the night. This was right in the middle of The Great B-Boy Blogger Battle of '04, so rather than take it down completely, I changed it to what was listed as the Crafty Genius' number. This is where the story gets interesting.

Let Down = One of the better Radiohead songs

Not to turn this into some kind of rock music blog, considering I hardly even listen to it that much, but I had to drop some knowledge about this song in the comments section over at the Parochial School and I figured you might be interested in checking it out. Because that's what school's really about anyway, right?

Pavement - Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain: LA's Desert Origins

I picked up a copy of Slanted & Enchanted: Luxe & Reduxe back when I could afford to do shit like that and thought it was one of the cooler things I'd ever purchased. According to P-fork, this reissue of Pavement's second album, Crooked Rain, Crooked Rain is right up there with it. I always thought this was the best Pavement album anyway, but, for whatever reason (probably having to do with when I went away to college, actually), I've listened to Terror Twilight more than any of their other ones.