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October 03, 2004
Guerilla Black - Guerilla City: Album Review
Guerilla Black, Guerilla City (Virgin, 2004)
A message to other rap sites that run album reviews: If you gave this garbage anything close to a positive review, I can never take you seriously again ever. Not that I did to begin with, but you know. I see you fuckers running ads for this jig's album and then giving this shit 3 stars out of 5 as if this was worth listening to at all. I know there aren't any rules in rap anymore, but damn.
HEARTS OF FIRE
You know this song isn't going to be any good to begin with because it's called "Hearts of Fire." That's sounds like the name of something from the St. Elmo's Fire soundtrack. I can climb the highest mountain, cross the widest sea. I can feel St. Elmo's Fire buuuuurrning in meeeeeee.
GUERILLA CITY
Also, in that last song he has a line that goes, "He look like Big / He sound like Big / I'm B-L-A-C-K, ya dig." If that wasn't bad enough, he has a line in the next song that goes, "Yes I'm original / No one is like me / That is unlikely."
COMPTON
Just beyond the fact that those are some wack ass rhymes, what the fuck is wrong with this jig? This is the most unoriginal shit I've ever heard before in my life. Anything that he didn't manage to crib from Biggie Smalls he got from 50 Cent.
YOU'RE THE ONE
Even the dude's name is Guerilla Black. Get it? Guerilla Black = Guerilla Unit = G-Unit = 50 Cent. He also has a tendency to sing his own hooks like 50 does.
THE STRIP CLUB (SKIT)
And look, I realize 50 Cent didn't invent rappers singing their own hooks, but to listen to this, Fiddy is obviously the main reference point.
TRIXXX
Urrbody in the club gettin' tipsy! Urrbody in the club gettin' tipsy! Here's a tip for any and all upcoming rappers: If you want people to respect you as an artist at all (not that this guy cares), don't rip off J-Kwon.
GUERILLA NASTY
The other single that's kinda gay. Featuring Jazze Pha and someone called Brooke Valentine. I wonder if she's hot. If she's isn't, they should have someone who is. Like a stripper.
SUNRISE
Because as long as you're going to rip something off, why not the fucking Tip Drill video? That's what I would do if I was a rapper. Maybe I can talk Milo or somebody into doing something at the Pink Slip. Speaking of which, I see Chingy actually mentions the Slip in his new single that I'm pretty sure has been played on TRL. Who would've thunk it?
WHAT WE GONNA DO
Or as I like to call it, "Who We Gonna Rip Off Next?" How about every other MC that did a song with Nate Dogg singing the chorus? And you know how hard it is to fuck up a song with Nate Dogg on the hook.
THE HOTEL (SKIT)
I guess I'm to believe that this jig is a drug dealer too.
SAY WHAT
Another thing that's pretty gay: Dedicating songs to Eazy E and old NWA in general. That song Jim Jones did was cool, but that kid the Game (what kind of name is that?) needs to become the next rap casualty already. If he ever comes to Creve Coeur, I'll fucking beat him up and get that shit on tape just to show how much of a sucker he is.
YES SIR
Remember the glorious days when Biggie Smalls could call up a radio station and have jigs licking shots at the Dogg Pound within 15 minutes? Why is Guerilla Black still alive? What's Amir Muhammed doing these days?
IT'S ALL RIGHT
This might've actually been amusing as a 50 Cent song. One thing I will say about this album is that whoever was involved in producing this shit shelled out for the beats. I'm not really into commercial sounding rap music, but someone else that is might actually enjoy a lot of these beats.
GIRLFRIEND
Was there ever a good song called "Girlfriend?" Jacko even did a bad song called "Girlfriend."
MY FIRST
Even though I'm pretty sure he's not that much older than I am, this jig has already had a wife kick the bucket. I wish he would've explained how. Would've made for a more interesting song.
In 20 years of listening to rap music, I haven't heard much that was this ridiculous. The next thing you know, this jig's going to be wearing ugly sweaters and dating a string of half-white girlfriends. Did anybody other than me notice that this jig's beastly-looking dead wife looks kinda similar to Biggie's beastly-looking first baby's mother? This dude might be a straight up and down stalker. Somebody needs to put a stop to him before he goes after Biggie's kids. Lord knows they've got enough problems with Faith Evans doing crack around them.
Posted by Bol at 10:15 PM | Permalink
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