I support a backdoor draft (no homo)

I think there's this idea about me that I'm just this guy who "hates the President's guts" and who would "cackle with glee" (to use the words of The Genius himself) should he somehow electrocute himself or fall down a flight of stairs, but that's only mostly true. There are, in fact, times when I actually agree with the current administration when it comes to certain policy issues.

Take for example the issue of whether or not the military is going to have a draft. President Mengele says he believes in an "all volunteer military." Me too, goddamnit!

First of all, there's the fact that, if there actually was a draft sometime in the near future, just like GDM himself, my ass wouldn't be going. Oh, don't get me wrong, I fall about exactly between the ages in which they generally draft people. But if it takes me not washing my ass for a month, I guarantee you I'd do it if it meant not being conscripted into the GDM Baby Killer Brigade. Anyway, my guess is that they'd take one look at the condition I'm in regardless and just show mercy on me. 5 years of $.99 tallboys of MGD and the like has a tendency to do that to a brother.

And then there's the fact that we've already got so many fine young men and women over there who, for a variety of reasons (brainwashing, lack of a proper education, etc.), so wholeheartedly support the war effort that I don't see any reason that they can't go ahead and finish the job that they started themselves. They don't need any cowardly (I'm scared of bullets like a motherfucker!), out of shape liberals such as myself over there fucking up something that's already been going so well. Think about it: The last person you want having your back in a combat situation is someone with such a well-tuned sense of nuance.

On the other hand, I realize the sacrifices that our best and our brightest are making in order to... um, do whatever it is that they think they're doing over there. And while, like the President himself, I can't advocate paying these people any more money than I'm currently making at the Asshole, I will suggest, shit demand even, that the military follows through on their promise to see to it that these people all receive the college education that was dangled in front of them whenever they were duped enlisted.

Being only a lowly fast food employee, I'm not exactly sure of the logistics of this, but I'd like to see it made possible that each and every member of GDM's BKB receive a diploma from the St. Louis College of Health Careers (alma mater of the one and only Dr. Donda West). As I'm sure we all know, the health services field is one of the fastest growing sectors in our economy. And I have a feeling that, at the rate things are going now, it won't be experiencing any kind of drop-off in the near future.