Let's put William Hung back on the boat

By Request
I can see how this whole William Hung debacle has been especially hard for Asianfolk to deal with just because it played right into everybody's little stereotpyes about what Asian guys are like and all anybody could really offer in response was "Yeah, well..." It's like whenever a black chick goes on TV and acts really ignorant: You wanna get pissed off about it, but what are you gonna do, really? But trust me, this hasn't been any picnic for my kind either.

It was one thing when all the Chinese people wanted to do was come over and peddle their little happy boxes in the black community. The fat content in the rice clogs their arteries and causes about half of them to keel over by the time they're 39 years old, and before they can become a drain on social security, which is solely funded by MY TAX DOLLARS, GODDAMNIT! LAZY BLACK PEOPLE ARE STEALING FOOD FROM MY 9 BABIES' MOUTHS! NEVER MIND HOW FAT THEY ARE ALREADY!

But if there's one thing we really can't afford, it's for them to take over the music business the same way they did the tiny, filthy grocery store industry. Sure whenever William Hung goes on TV and does "She Bangs" or the Gin Blossoms' "Found Out About You," it only serves to make Asian people look silly. No problem there, right? Well I'd like to refer you to another genre of music that never did anything other than make a whole race of people look silly: Rap music, or as I like to refer to it: Niggers Talking Over Old Police Records.

Remember, we waved it off as a fad back in the 1980s and now one of these jigs (P. Diddy, the best dancer of the bunch) has more money than the Sultan of Brunei. Jay-Z, a former "crackhead," is currently in talks to purchase the entire NBA. While the Chinese may never sell as many albums as those two (because, let's face it, nobody's as naturally talented at the arts as black people), let's not forget the the fact that these people are financial geniuses who know how to make their money work for them. IF ALLOWED TO GO UNCHECKED, WILLIAM HUNG AND HIS KIND WILL TAKE OVER THE UNITED STATES OF AMERICA AND FORCE US ALL TO EAT CATS.

So obviously something has to be done. Which is why I'm calling for all patriotic Americans to dust off their shotguns and get thee to the San Francisco Bay Area immediately. Call up your cousins who are still in the Klan and tell them we've got business to take care of. And while we're there, we can also rid the place of all gay people, poor black people, elitist white people and other undesirable types. For the sake of our children.