Terror Squad - True Story: Album Review

Terror Squad, The One with "Lean Back" on It, (SRC, 2004)
I said my jigs don't dance we just pull off our pants and, do the rock away! Now lean back! Lean back!

NOTHING'S GONNA STOP ME

Say what you will about these long white t-shirt rappers, they obviously have excellent taste in music. First Cam'ron and the DIP SET DIP SET DIP SET went and did a version of Starship's "We Built This City (So Fags Could Have a Place to Hang Out)," and now Joey Ass Crack and the TS have hit us off with their rendition of the same group's "Nothing's Gonna Stop Us Now" from the hit-packed Mannequin 2 soundtrack.

YEAH YEAH YEAH

Can you hear me callin' out yo name? You know that I've fallen and I don't know what to say. I'll speak a little louder. I'll even shout. You know that I'm proud and I can't get the words out. Oh ahhhhh. I wanna be with you everywhere!

HUM DRUM

OK, I should probably break character and mention that that last song was one of the better ones I've heard in a long time, seriously. This one's not really worth listening to at all though.

LEAN BACK

Now where was I? Oh yeah: I said my jigs don't dance we just pull off our pants and, do the rock away! Now lean back! Lean back! Best part of the whole song: "If you cross the line, damn right I'm 'gon hurt ya / These faggot niggaz even made gang signs commercial / Even Lil' Bow Wow throwin it up / B2K crip walkin like that's what's up!" Those little faggots!

TAKE ME HOME

Covers of Eugene Wilde records is the new sped up vocal sampling. Being, as always, two steps ahead of the game, I've gone and recorded a whole album of this crap and I'm in talks with several record/clothing companies about becoming the new Kanye West. And guess what bitches: I don't believe in Jesus! Never did! Don't even really like people who do!

STREETS OF NY

What the fuck is this bullshit? There should be a rule about having songs on your album called "Streets of NY" that are this faggoty. In case you were wondering, Kool G. Rap is nowhere to be found on this song. Not even Black Thought pretending to be Kool G. Rap. In fact, not even Edan pretending to be Kool Keith a good 2 years or so before Black Thought pretended to be Kool G. Rap.

BRING 'EM BACK

The concept: Joey Butt Crack brings Bigs Pun & L "back" for a "Tres Leches" style collabo. Does it actually work? Yeah, kinda.

YES DEM TO DEF

In 2002, Cooked Chicken Crack put out an album called Loyalty which had a coupla half-assed facsimiles of his hits from the J.O.S.E. album and a buncha songs that sound like this on it. This might actually even be one of them. Is Joey Butt Crack trying to pull a fast one on us? No homo, just in case.

PASS AWAY

You know what would be actually not better at all? That same song that I just described, minus KFC Crack and plus some other random Puerto Rican.

LET THEM THINGS GO

Here's an interesting concept: A song about what a stripper tells you once your two songs are up. Actually, I think Ras Kass might have had one of those on his second album (which would actually, technically be his last album, wouldn't it?).

THUNDER IN THE AIR

Prospect, or whoever it is rhyming on this, means well. He just doesn't have very much talent.

TERROR ERA

KFC Crack and his little fake Lil' Kim, on the other hand, aren't that bad. They just rap over the kind of bullshit that I don't really like to listen to.

Another week, another rap album that's not very good at all. At least in this case I wasn't really expecting it to be anyway. Every once in a while, I'll find one of these shitty rap albums that's actually not that bad, and I'll ride around in my car blasting it and pretending to be one of those jigs who listens to rap music really loud in his car. Alas, this isn't one of those albums. My advice to anybody who thinks they might be interested in this is to download tracks 2 and 4 (which you probably already have) and not even bother with the rest of it.