Road Rules X-TREME - Episode 5: Episode Summary

Can you believe this is already the 5th episode of this shit? It definitely doesn't seem like over a month since this season began, but it also doesn't seem like, I don't know, however long it's been since I got out of school. When I was in college, time went by slowly. That period between 8 a.m. Monday morning and 3 p.m. Friday afternoon seemed like a month in itself. But now that I'm at home doing jack shit, time is just flying by. The next thing you know I'm gonna be 30 sitting here.

But enough about me. I should probably state right off that last week I forgot to mention that the gang found an "awesome little puppy" (probably planted there by a member of the crew) and decided to adopt it. So if you're into that sort of thing, then there. I can't remember what they decided to call it, but it was something pretty gay like X-TREME Dog or some shit. Whatever.

Speaking of gay, this episode is bookended by scenes where Danny throws a little hissy-fit because everytime he starts describing another guy's unit, Derrick puts his hands over his ears and shouts EARMUFFS, which is actually pretty gay in itself, but we've already gone over that in the past couple summmaries.

They get a message about a mission having to do with planes, which they think might be skydiving (I guess they've already done the bungee jumping thing, what else is there to do on this show?). Some bullshit called "Life Is Sweet" or some such starts playing on the soundtrack and then bam, Derrick runs the RV hard into a tree. Oops. Also, the tree falls on a woman's car, which causes her to flip out. South American law requires that Derrick be taken in for "testing" until somebody shows up with $200 in a brown paper bag.

So he can't be in the mission. BFD. I never did figure out what exactly this mission was. I'm getting pretty tired of these assholes getting these ridonkulous prizes for completing the world's easiest missions. For example, for doing basically nothing this week, these clowns got a trip to 17 different countries in Europe. I didn't even know there were 17 different countries in Europe. Where's Europe again? Also, how come there aren't any black people on this show. RR South Pacific > RR X-TREME.

Long story short, Derrick gets some guy (I'm pretty sure he wasn't a cab driver) to take him to 2 different airports, but not the one the mission was at. He never shows up, but the gang wins anyway. There was a minor controversy over the fact that the gang was trying to cheat, but I think they just ended up having a do-over or some shit. They get back to the campsite and Derrick's already there, lit. Danny gets pissed again about the earmuffs thing and the gang gets a "rinky-dink" van until the RV gets fixed.