Ashlee Simpson = The face of pure evil

Literally. I mean, have you seen this bitch's face. I know I have a tendency to exaggerate shit, but I think it's pretty safe to say that this is the fugliest face of any female celebrity ever. It's so ugly, even Brandy was like "Damn girl, what happened to your face?" It's so ugly, I almost wouldn't fuck her! I've heard people compare it to Nicole Kidman's face in that movie The Hours, you know, when she had that weird prosthetic nose thing for which she eventually won the Oscar. Which completely overlooks the fact that Nicole Kidman in The Hours was FUCKING HOT. You know what I'm talking about. Those depressed chicks have been known to be easy.

As far as the actual show is concerned, I wouldn't know. It was actually on when I began writing (typing?) this, but I refused to watch. Keep in mind that I've seen pretty much every little piece of garbage that MTV has seen fit to air since probably as far back as the late '80s, but definitely since the early '90s. I've seen that True Life special with the fat black cheerleaders at least 3 times. That's my level of dedication, bitch. But everybody's gotta draw the line somewhere. I've seen 2 or 3 episodes of Newlyweds, but I won't be watching the Ashlee Simpson show.

Maybe she'll die during facial reconstruction surgery or something.