The Real World: San Diego - Episode 22: Episode Summary

Remember last time was one of those dumbass "To be continued" episodes where we were, I guess, supposed to just sit there for a week and wonder whether or not Frankie would actually go home. It's amusing to me that, between this and the date rape incident, the producers still run this show as if the Internet doesn't exist, especially given the age group that they target. Shame on those old homos. Ooh, I said a bad word!

This episode begins with Frankie and and her sister Mamie (remember everybody in her family has names that end with an "E" suffix) walking to the car. Mamie, wearing a Hello Kitty t-shirt (which makes you wonder who got it from who) and Mom Abby are headed back to KC. Frankie asks Mamie whether or not, if she was in the same situation, she would go home. To which Mamie says, "No, and that's the difference between me and you. You find ways to make yourself happy. I just do what I'm told." I swear that girls about 5 minutes away from some hardcore S&M-style relationship.

Next thing you know, the show's producer Homo Kevin shows up to go over this leaving bullshit with Frankie. They show him walking up the path to the house towards the door, trying as hard as possible to walk like a straight guy and not quite succeeding. Remember, during the last show he said he would have to call his boss and get back to Frankie. Well it sounds like whoever his boss is was like, "Homo Kevin, you tell that creepy bitch she had better stay here. How in the hell are we gonna sell Saturns and Chili's Fresh Mex if we've got people leaving the show?"

Their little convo basically consisted of, "We want you to stay, but should you decide to leave, know that you can't come back. Take a night to sleep on it." So Homo Kevin hops on his Vespa and skidaddles. Frankie goes inside and, rather than sleep on it, has a little blow out with the rest of the house. She starts out all like, "Everybody else here has made friends with somebody they can talk to," which causes Jacquese to go ball up in a corner and miss yet another opportunity to behave like the kind of black guy we like to see on these shows. You can see Brad the whole time trying to choke back a giggle and the girls give her this look that just says, "Bitch, get gone."

So she's leaving. She calls up Dave and has this weird little conversation about since she's not there, he might run into some other Hello Kitty wearing self-mutilator at the show. I think her plan at this point was to show up at the show dressed up as Juliet (he's going as Romeo) and surprise him. She calls her mom to tell her that she's coming home and that she needs a ride from the airport to the Catacombs, where the show is going to be. Mom doesn't like the fact that she's leaving the show to see this fucking low-budget Billy Idol. To which Frankie responds, "Fine, I'll just find my own ride, dammit!" Or something to that effect.

So she's gone. Ja and the rest of the gang give her a ride to the airport (in full Juliet regalia). She pretends to be upset to be leaving and promises to call Jacquese everyday. It's Halloween and the gang gets all dressed up to go to some party: Robin as Marilyn Monroe, Jamie as my fantasy woman, apparently, Brad and Big Rand as Mario and Luigi (actually kinda cool looking), Jacquese as a black person in a burgundy sweater (Bill Cosby, maybe?) and Cameran as Avril Lavigne dressed up like 2Pac or some shit.

The next day, or two days later or whatever, Jacquese is all broken up that Frankie hasn't bothered to call him. Remember, she promised at the airport that she would call him everyday, even though I'm pretty sure that was just to get him to let go of her (your boy Ja is one hell of a hugger). She finally ends up calling the house and talking to Cam, which was amusing because she said something to the effect of, "Some people are cut out for this and some aren't. I guess I'm just too punk rock." To which Cam can only respond, "Are you serious?" Also, her and Dave are getting married and have probably already cut themselves a few times by this point.

Next episode: The gang gets a new roomie.