The Real World: San Diego - Episode 20: Episode Summary
It's only been a couple of weeks since the last new Real World, but it feels like a month or something. Hell, the last time this shit came on, my dumbass was still in college. If you remember, the last episode before this was the one where the gang went to Greece and got into it with Frankie. I have no idea where this episode actually begins chronologically, but obviously the end of the Greece trip and the subsequent trip back got left out completely. Also, as expected, anything having to do with the supposed date rape was completely left out.
This episode begins with Robin literally clinging to that Marine kid Mike (wearing a powder blue Kangol baseball cap and looking like he could be about 12 years old). According to Robin, they're really cut out for each other and I guess I could see that given that they're both basically a couple of freakishly overgrown children. The wigger leaves and Robin goes inside to seek sex advice from Big Rand of all people, which basically amounted to "Wait awhile, but not too long." Wasn't that a Janet Jackson song? Spoken like a true veteran of the nightclub industry.
Speaking of which, one of his co-workers, a woman named Jessica, the date rapist and some other people show up to spend the weekend with Big Rand. This Jessica chick is aiight, but she looks like one of those chicks who turns out to be 35-years-old or some shit. Anyhoo, Big Rand seems to really like her. They throw a little shindig in which Robin cracks open a bottle of John Daniels and begins throwing back shots like a man. Boyfriend Mike proposes a toast to the good ol' US of A (after all, we are at war).
Sufficiently slizzered, the gang heads out to some rather crunk looking club. Big Rand and his meat proceed to the dance floor where he can take advantage of the opportunity to have his hand on her ass for about 2 hours straight. Robin, clearly fucked up, drags Wigga Mike into a corner booth somewhere and starts whispering shit into his ear like "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and "Please have my children." I think he tries to convince her to leave, but they end up going back inside for her to do more shots. Bad idea.
Robin reemerges from the club, 3 sheets to the wind, and has another episode of "Robin's World." Due to the editing, it's not really clear what exactly happened or why. I'm assuming whoever it was she was going off on didn't want their face on TV, so the effect is just like watching Robin stumble around drunk screaming at nobody. W Mike has enough ("Is this the way she always acts?") and walks off the way cool black guys always do on TV. Robin chases him halfway down the block as if she was trying to pinch off a loaf while she ran and eventually stopped, fell to the ground and started crying.
To editorialize a bit, as if this whole thing wasn't already rather "subjective" as Fitz would say, if a bitch started talking all kinds of shit to me about "I want to spend the rest of my life with you" and "Please have my children," and I hadn't even hit it yet, I'd probably be forced to do something bad to her just on GP. You know, just to set the record straight. But then again, I wouldn't be dealing with Robin one way or the other. OK, I'm lying. I'd probably try to hit maybe once or twice, but after that I'd be done with it. I definitely wouldn't have drunk dumbass crawling all over me like that.
Meanwhile, back at the scene of the crime, Big Rand and his meat walk in and, to Brad's amusement especially, describe Robin's latest incident to the rest of the gang. With that out of the way, they all decide to hit the hot tub. Big Rand makes out with Jessica while the rest of the gang just kinda sits there. Jamie, who never seems to be getting it on with anybody, wonders where Robin is because "she's like 14." Big Rand reminds her that Robin is like 3 years older than her and to basically cut out all that gotdamn blocking and go the fuck on somewhere, only in not as many words.
Robin catches a cab from the scene of her little incident back to Homeboy Mike's car. He finally shows up and is like "Bitch, get the fuck out of here." But she won't and instead gets in his car. Then G-Funk Mike goes into some Dr. Phil routine for what seems like 30 seconds or so, at which point it looks likes she might've passed out. Mike gets in the car and takes off with her still in it. I'm assuming he takes her somewhere and has his way with her, which, if true, was a pretty smooth move and also ironic considering what was going on behind the scenes.
Back at the crime scene (do not cross), somebody gets the bright idea to sleep outside. Big Rand pitches a pretty half-assed tent (no homo) on the sand volleyball court. Him and Jessica wrap up in a sleeping bag together, but they had two other guys in the tent with them, so they couldn't really get it on. Meanwhile, Jamie's inside wondering what happened to Robin. She finally walks in the next morning with G-Funk looking all happy like she just found a piece of candy in her pocket. Frankie remarks that she does have an unusual glow. But I'm pretty sure that was just from the fact that she hadn't been home to bathe in a couple of days.
I don't know how this fits in at all chronologically, but Jamie or somebody gets a call that they've been invited to a pimps and hoes party, which apparently they have outside of college in California. The gang gets all dressed up in full pimp and ho regalia, Frankie and the guys as pimps, Robin, wearing only a bra, and the rest of the girls as hoes. Big Rand and his meat take off early so that they can finally rush back to the crib for a little night vision sex. Her and the rest of the gang take off pretty early the next morning (to beat the cops?). Robin and Homey G-Funk make out in a tent and that was pretty much it.
NEXT WEEK: The real heat. Frankie's parents show up and I'm pretty sure she ends up leaving the show.
