Let's hunt and kill the Olsen twins

Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen Face Age 18
First of all, I'd just like to say that it's very creepy that these bitches are about to turn 18. Part of what's weird about it is the fact that it makes them not that much younger than I am. Huh? Weren't these bitches babies back in the late '80s? Cuz I could swear I was like 40 or something back then, you know. Or at least 8 maybe. I mean, I knew my life was going nowhere, but did time somehow manage to stop for a while these past few years while I wasn't looking?

I know for a lot of you, the fact that they're about to turn 18 is significant because you've been jerking off to pictures of them since the mid '90s (I'm a Lindsay Lohan man myself) and they're about to reach that magical point where you could legally drop one off inside either or both of them. But personally, I don't think these bitches are that hot at all. I'm not saying I wouldn't hit it or anything, but this myth of the two of them being so hot has got to be stopped. I mean, take a look at them. They both have those weird, kinda oval shaped heads, like an Asian person only not as flat, and their fucking short too. Basically, they look like a couple of trolls.

It's already a scientific fact that, if you have twins, identical or otherwise, one of them will come out looking like a monkey, or at least more so than the other one. I know this might be news to some of you, but it's true. Sit back and reflect on it for a while until it makes sense. Back yet? OK, but somehow, in the case of these two, it seems as if that monkey gene was split between the two of them. As many times as I've stared at pictures of them, I can't, for the life of me, decide which one looks more like a monkey.

And I also don't appreciate the way the media is trying to make these little bitches out to be savvy business moguls. First it was Teresa "I somehow managed to bag two Skull & Bones members" Heinz Kerry and then there was Tina "It took me three years to write a movie that's basically a gayer version of Heathers" Fey and now we can add Mary-Kate and Ashley "We pose for pictures that are attached to garbage that is only purchased by the poorest members of our society and jerked off to by old men" Olsen.

Somebody make it stop. Please.

Quarter and Sean, get in here. I'd like to see you guys try to defend these two.

Comments

[the quarterwit]

Ok, here goes. Honestly, I can't say I'm in any place to defend them. Or to attack them. Why? Because when it comes to the Olsen twins, I'm just underwhelmed. They were cute kidstars who have morphed somehow into mini-sex symbols to be. If they want to make bad movies, fine. It's not like I've depended on them to contribute great art to Western Civilizaion (Full House!) and now they've fallen from grace, with cheezy movies.

I agree that the savvy business moguls thing is pretty ridiculous. It's like, behind every set of twin three olds on a hit sitcom, there's a crazy stage mom doing everything she can to exploit her kids. I think we know that 2 preteens were not making important marketing decisions.

The other thing that's annoying is that they've asked the media to stop calling them as the "Olsen Twins" and start referring to them by their individual names. Hey, stop wearing matching outfits, doing every movie and public appearance together, and we'll all start thinking of you as 2 different people. I'm sayin.

[D-COY]

Fuck you Byron, I was a Lindsey Lohan fan before you were.

[Milo]

Unlike ya'll, age has never been an issue between myself and the Olsen sistaz. But, to me, they're typical high school skeezers who think they're 10 years older than they actually are, and wear that many pounds in makeup to cover up their teen years; they're pretty much generic hos with lots of cash and even more attention. Rumor of the day: a friend of mine said a friend of hers went to some Cali school with them, and they were, much like my predictions, straight ho'ish. I'd take Lohan any day, even though it weirds me out that I watched these chickens on Disney and now they're popping up on blogs and message boards wearin' next ta' nathan.

Milo

[Bol]

Yeah, I'm getting pretty tired of hearing about these young tramps in general. Hopefully they'll go away soon. Maybe somebody really will chase them down, put a shoutgun in their mouths and end this bullshit. Whenever I wake up from my nap, I'm planning on working on a feature called "Let's Hunt and Kill Jessica Simpson."

[Milo]

There has to be some reprocussions of OD'ing on Loreal at the age of 13. I'm expecting these birds to fall off at around 20? Literally.

Milo

[Fitz]

Yeah, they are definitely overrated. Lindsay Lohan is hot. On a side note, I think the girl from Harry Potter is going to smoking in a couple of years (months?)

[WarriorMentality]

now lindsay lohan...those are some pristine, young, unblemished by diet, still got that baby-fat-on-em titties that a man lives for.

or at least i do.

God blesss you boys.

[Sara]

Dude, everyone knows Lohan has implants. Where were you?

[WarrriorMentality]

apparently not around when she got 'em. which is a shame. i'dve loved to be there to nurse her thru the post op recovery...

[Bol]

I actually had no idea. I'd like to see what D-COY thinks of this.

[D-COY]

Implants or not, she's still smoking regardless.

[john kennedy]

I'd love to screw um up the butt. tri 69 Finger banging good.

[Always_18]

Ultimate fantasy would be Olsen Twins, Lindsay Lohan, and Hilary Duff all in one big orgy video.

Throw in Paris Hilton and Nicole Ritchie as the fluffer girls in action as well.

Splat-o-Rama!

[Amsterdam]

hey jij zuigt weet hij wel hoe lekker die meisjes wel niet zijn jij bent gweoon een klootzak met niks anders dan zijn computer eenzame bitch JIJ ZUIGT HARD KANKER OP LAAT DIE WIJFJES MET RUST

[Patrick]

What he said.

[denise]

just for those of u that dont speak dutch, let me just translate into english what Always-18 said on may 25th (cuz i do speak dutch):
'hey you suck have you any idea how hot those girls (the olsens) are you're just an asshole with nothing to do but sit behind your computer you lonely bitch U SUCK FUCK OFF LEAVE THOSE CHICKS ALONE'
just thought some of u might like to know (6) , even though this Always-18 is obviously a very, very pathetic person and doesnt even have the fucking guts to say what he has to say in english....so u might not even give a shit what he said (6). But still.

[ROMINA]

I LOVE THE TWINS I DON´T WANT KILL HER... DON´T CRY GIRLS I´M HERE FOR RESCUE FROM THIS PEOPLE ...

[MARIANA]

WHO DO YOU THInK you ARE TO SAY THOSE THINGS ABOUT THE TWINS?!?!?!FUCK YOU!YOU MOTHER FUCKER!!!!JUST OPEN YOUR EYES!!!WE LOVE THE TWINS!!YOU JUST SAY SHIT AND MORE SHIT!!BASTARD!!!POR ISSO VAI PO COLINHO DA MAMA,SEU FILHO DA MAE!!N TENS O DIREITO D DIZER ESSAS CENAS DAS GEMEAS!!!CABRAO DE MERDA!SUA PUTA DESMAMADA!!TENS E DOR D COTOVELO!

[MissFox]

Im so sick of the Olsen twins, they look like two sick tree frogs, with their sunk in faces and vapid spares. Why are they always touching in pictures...is this something that they have been conditioned to do for pictures?...They cling to each other like creapy little lizards..and quite frankly I find them disturbing. It'd be a different thing if either one of them had any talent but other that being a duo, there is nothing special about them.

[arnold]

i think we sould rape and fuck and then kill both of them.and then eat there dead bodys

[Nessa]

HEY!!
WHO DO YOU THINK YOU ARE TO SAY THIS STUFF ABOUT THE OLSEN TWINS!? ALL OF YOU ARE JUST SICK!!! AND MOST OF ALL DISGUSTING!!!!
GET A WOMEN YOUR OWN AGE!!! THE OLSENS ROCK!!!

[marilisa]

how sick is this???u people should get a life!!!stop sayin' this crap about MK and ASH and other gurls!!you r just disgusting!!
make me sick

[H. Parker]

Get a life? Coming from fans of the Olsen twins I'm not sure how to take that. Am I the only one who doesn't think they're even that hot? And being two of them, they're twice as ugly and untalented.
Now the apocolypse is upon us, a movie that they stared in made it to theaters, sick. And it was such a shameful rip off of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
But no, I don't want to kill them. I want to watch Mary Kate die of her cocaine adiction and her sister lose everything after she realizes she's nothing without her clone. Dude, that's evil.

[H. Parker]

Get a life? Coming from fans of the Olsen twins I'm not sure how to take that. Am I the only one who doesn't think they're even that hot? And being two of them, they're twice as ugly and untalented.
Now the apocolypse is upon us, a movie that they stared in made it to theaters, sick. And it was such a shameful rip off of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.
But no, I don't want to kill them. I want to watch Mary Kate die of her cocaine adiction and her sister lose everything after she realizes she's nothing without her clone. Dude, that's evil.

[emma]

u are freaks and a load of pedo's i am 12 yrs old and u lot freak the fuck out of me. x x x x x x x

[patrick]

they are ok, not gorgeous.

[Christina]

YOU FUCKING PEOPLE!!!!!!!!!!!MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY OLSEN ARE THE BEST!!!!!!!!EVERYBODY HO THINKS THY ARE NOT,WEL YOU PEOPLE ARE SICK!!!!!!SICK!!!!!!!!SICK!!!!!!!!!THE OLSEN-TWINS ARE JUST THE BEST AND SO COOL AND PRETTY AND I'M A BIG FAN OF THEM!!!!!!!SO SHUT UP WITH SAYING THESE CRAZY THINGS ABOUT THEM!!!!!!!THE OLSEN-TWINS ARE 100% BETTER THEN EVEREYBODY HO SAYS BAD THINGS ABOUT THE OLSEN-TWINS!!!!!!!!FUCK YOU!!!!

[declan]

well id just like to show something to all the people that think MK and ashleigh are mingers

http://www.olsen-twins.nl/website/images/nude01.jpg

[jim reeves]

these olsen twins have to go they are bloody ugly sluts i say we rape them or assassinate them whos with me

[the shark]

Instead, couldn't we just anally rape one while forcing the other to suck us off in between jabs? I think ass to mouth would be far more profitable for all of those involved rather than actually killing them. What say you?

[dsaaaaaaaaaaaaa]

they dont have any talent together much less alone but instead of killing them lets rape them

[Nacho Novo]

What a way to win the championship! I'd just like to say beating those fenian bastards right at the death will leave a permanent scar on those dole-collecting bastards psyche forever!

RANGERS
SPL CHAMPIONS
2005

FOR GOD AND ULSTER

[Chris jablonski]

the olsen twins are crap theyy are so ugly looking at them u could get a heartattack i wannt to hunt them down and killl them or remove them from tv

dumb sluts

thats what i think chris jablonski
? faggot?

[brinksman]

One is goodlooking (Ashley). the other looks like a freak.

[riley]

hey writer, I'm sure you are just yellous and I'm also sure that they do have done a much greater job than you will ever do...and about the monkey-thing: if they look like monkeys I really wonder what you look like, you can not be a pretty sight...

GET REAL

[jojo]

They look like shit. Riley -- you a ho.

[IQ above 15]

Most of the people who post here are women who think that they should get as much attention as the olsens!
I mean look at the names over half of them are female names. Just because someone is more attractive than you doesn't mean they should die. Get over yourselves!

[Better than olsens - Raven]

I am prettier than the olsens, who says they should get all the attention

[PIMPKING]

I WANT TO FUCK THEM THEY SO HOT IF CATCH ALONE ILL RAPE OLSENS DUFF JOJO EMMAWATSON AND YOUR PRECOS LOHAN

[Speed]

Compared to the Olsen twins, Raven or Raven-Symone or however she has it nowadays, is fucking drop dead gorgeous. Hell, give me the Sister, Sister twins over the Olsens (Ironically enough, both sets of twins appeared on each other's shows at some point).
Wow.
Can't believe I just admitted that.
The Olsen twins were annoying little shits that overstayed their welcome, mostly because the world is full of innocent, prepuberescent (is that the correct spelling) white girls. And horny 30 year old guys that were waiting for the day that the Olsens turned legal. Seeing that that is a HUGE chunk of the population, the Olsen empire became just that: an empire. While, for example, Raven, has been reduced to nothing more than a mediocre singing career and a mediocre acting career. Fuck the Olsens. Support Raven-Symone. Get that girl, or should I say woman (seeing as though she's almost 20), into the career that she deserves.

[beachbabe' 05]

Ok im not a marykate and ashley fan but wat u guyz r saying is just sick! i mean theyre are about a billion actresses to choose frm..y mka?..theyre good ppl who have nice lives and its not like theyre bothering u.. so y r u saying all this crap bout them?..and wats with this crap about lindsay lohan?..how cum u like her nd not mka?..i mean theyre not tht different..well i hope u can see things frm my point of view..peace out!

ps- lindsays tits r real

[PIYA]

the olsen twins r ugly
they are visibly anorexic and have a bad influence on the youth
they have no acting talent either
y r they sicking to each other in every photo?
they really SUCK

[dina]

wow..FREAKS...u guys r mentally retarded..rape them??? wut r u desperate...u talk about how ugly they are and how much u hate them and then say u want to rape them...u guys r freaks...all the guys here are some loser nerds that cant get any girls so u guys go around callin the twins ugly but only because u cant get them so then u say u want to rape them...and al the girls are ugly pieces of crap that cant get any attention so u girls r just jealous so u call the twins ugly....u guys r pathetic get a life and stop hatin on the twins u know their pretty jealousy is not a good reason to hate some one y dont u get up and get some plastic sergery done if u want so much attention..physcotic assholes!!!

[its_me]

I dont care what all you assholes think, the oslen twins ROCK! Especially when they were like 14-16, they were gorgeous. I'd give anything to look like them.

[Courtaney [MARY-KATE AND ASHLEY FAN]]

u don't call my girls names u here me.man i don't like u dising my fave cerlebitys so keep your mouth shut.

[beca]

i think ur just sick and wrong!!!! i'm a twin myself thankyou very much and none of us look like flippin monkeys!!! Marykate and Ashley rock! your just jealouse coz they're WAY better then you losers!!!!
u say such mean and cruel stuff 'bout them but your probably snoggin their photo's every night in bed!!!!!!!!!!!!! FREAKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[beca]

u suck!!!!! im a twin and none of us look like flippin monkey!!! your just a bunch of losers who've never had a girlfriend in your life!!!!!!!! you're FREAKS1!!! and i say this from the vey kindness of my heart. Marykate and ashley roc and rule!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
SO WHY DON'T YOU GET YOURSELVES A LIFE!!!!!!!

[uhhhhh]

is this goin to go up there... sweet anybody thats reading this got any weed? call me at 402-GOT-WEED
(468-9333)

[uhhhhh]

im going to go look at porn for the rest of my life (67 year old virgin)

[shit (uhhhhh)]

Your all a bunch of fucking losers. both fucking sides, who the hell makes a fucking thing like this "LETS HUNT AND KILL THE FUCKING OLSEN TWINS". i mean damn thats pretty fucking gay dude.and the other fucking side is just as fucking bad the Olsen twins are nasty fugly 18 year old fags that have out longed their stay. they dont need to be fucking shot and killed but they do need to leave show biz. who in the fucking hell could think their hot. they do have fucking monkey faces. to me your all a bunch of nasty ass sick bastards that need to fucking get a god damn life.

[uhhhhh]

piss bubbles

[dolphin]

i would like to say that i love the olsen twins no matter what! ye they have dun sum stupid stuff but if u hated every celebrity that got caught in the whirlwing of drink drugs and the world that has alot of money then you wouldnt have any fave celeb or idol dont pick on just the olsens have a look at other celebs

[uhhhhh]

damn... i cant believe people still write on this thingy

[julie]

Whartel? You guys are all wrong!! I mean, I'm not obsessed with mary kate and ashley i dont even like them all that much. but first of all, they are not ugly. they are not the most naturally beautiful people, but you really can't say tehyre ugly. they have eccentricity, and thats a good thing. About the monkey comment, i don't even know whats thats about, you're probably just around too many ugly people. Whatever boys are saying they're ugly and not hot (only the ones who are vulgar about it)are probably jealous becayuse their girlfriends are fat, or have bad teeth. and whatever girls...well its plain to see you're just jealous because you have jiggly thighs and/or stomach. ok and WHAT? where would we be without michelle from full house?! um, i think nowhere.and who could disagree that their wonderful performances in their mysteries and parties were bad acting? i think noone.

[Evil Resurected]

THEY ARE FUCKING ASSHOLES THEY SUCK THE ONLY GUYS WHO LIKE THEM ARE LITTLE BOYS WHO HAVENT GROWN OUT OF WANTING TO FUCK THEM AND 40 YEAR OLD PEDOS GIRLS LIKE THEM CAUSE THEY'RE STUPID AND SHALLOW THEY JUS WANNA BE POPULAR SO THEY IDOLIZE THEM MK AND A NEED TO DIE FOR THEIR SINS AGAINST HUMANITY I SHALL BE THE ONE TO CRUCIFY THEM WHOS WITH ME????

[The Internets' Most Hated Man, Speed da Young'un]

Let's just kill all skinny white crackwhores. Most of them are celebs anyhow, so you'd kill 2 birds with one stone.

[matt]

It's true. Great actress' they are not. And yes they're probably trying to act older and seem like holywood sex symbols. But, the whole twin thing as a certain forbidden appeal, does it not? Maybe I'm just a freak. lol.

[Joe Blowfishr.]

THe Olsen Twins most deifinitely do NOT sucki, THe Olsen Twins are wholesome twins.

The olsen twins are so cute.Just like Hilary Duff.

[Dagger]

You guys are just sick man, not that i'm sayin' the olsen twins are good or something. If you wanna fuck hire a hooker or something, or get a girlfriend, that't even better.
and monkeys? yeah, that's his opinion...
BTW: for the guy who wrote in Dutch: WOJOW GOZER VAN WIE HEB JIJ LEREN PRATEN? JE MOEDER OFZO?? ZO EEN WOORDENSCHAT MOET JE TOCH WEL VERANDEREN!
that's all, just an advice ^^

[Kaylee]

WELL I HAVE TO SAY THIS IS PRETTY PATHETIC!! i have no idea how i managed to stumble across this but i wont be coming back. I mean get real. Rape them? Get real you are all just sick 40 year old men who think if they talk about other people they might forget how sad their own lives are!! Stop moanin bout mka!! if they wana do what they do leave em!! they might be a litle skinny and may sometime wear to much make up but that doesn't deserve death threats!! grow up

[truthhurts]

FORGET all this B.S. about the two of them! The twins to bang your twins against are Cole & Dylan Sprouse!!!.....mmmmmmm mmmmmmmmmm

[U TWATS!! THE OLSENS ;-)]

You lot are fucked up! The Olsens are fyneeee! You blokes who disagree with that are clearly faggots and like cock! Go rape your mum!
THE OLSENS ARE GORGEOUS!!!!!!!!!

[thisisgay]

you are all pathetic i hope u all die and get shit on by dogs this is the sickest shit i have ever read in my life im not sure why i even bothered to read it i guess it was just to see what u peices of shit would actually say next i hope you all get ass fucked

[laura]

i think you lot are all sick, saying u want to rape/kill the olsen twins!
you don't know them so how can you judge them!!!!
i'm not that much of a fan like, but i don't start sayin shit like that!
you all need to find something better to do than write about that.......

[NOT A DICKHEAD.]

ALL U PEOPLE SAYING BAD SHIT ABOUT WOMEN LIKE MARY KATE & ASHLEY ETC. ARE GAY DONT U HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO DO BUT BITCH ABOUT OTHER PEOPLES LIVES JUST BECAUSE THEY HAVE DONE BETTER THAN YOU IN THEIR LIFE. GO GET A LIFE AND STOP FEELING SORRY FOR UR SELF COS UR SAD ASSES SITTIN ON A PC ALL DAY . YER THEY MAY BE MULTIMILLIONAIRE PRINCESSES BUT I BUT THERE A HELL OF A LOT HAPPIER AND BETTER PEOPLE THEN YOU WILL EVER BE.

IN THE END THERE ALL RIGHT AND ARE NOT ACTUALLY UGLY OR THAT FLAT CHESTED.

please email me if u wish on-

jonny4right@hotmail.com

[Heartless Bastard]

I'd fuck the both of them. I would of when they first started becoming the spoilt rich cunts they are. I'd still love to fuck thier anorexic bodies, thier (plastic) titties and thier lovely tight asses. Splooge all over thier faces and sell the pics to national enquirer. Rape them, fuck no, keep them in a cage with a dildo in each hole until you are ready to fuck them more.

[Heartless Bastard]

Oh and I'd make them commit incestual lesbian acts on each oter. (Like they havent done THAT before). Oh and they are hot and I would love to be MR Olsen Twins!!! They are both very pretty a little stupid at times, but they certainly haven't done things that are THAT bad. Grow up you fucks we take the piss out of every celebrity cunt we'd love to eat.

[barbarian at the gate]

Man, you really are a cat with no heart.

I don't think they'll be calling you for a 2nd date.

[missingtricuspidvalve]

"Rape them, fuck no, keep them in a cage with a dildo in each hole until you are ready to fuck them more."

I don't understand the point of this. Why would you want to keep a dildo in each hole? It seems to me that it would make more sense to go ahead and take the dildos out while they languish in their cages. If only so the holes could shrink back to at least close to their former tightness. Just sayin'.

[heydickheads]

you sick dickheads should get a life instead of saying all this shit about them just because you haven't had a girlfriend before or even gone near a girl before and i think that they are hot!!!

[likeasumppump]

^^ I also think they are hot. I also think you suck the shit out of assholes.

[coksukka]

the olsen twins i would love to fuck them but i have seen better hilary duff rules so sexy

[coksukka]

linday lohan is pretty good but puffy tits lol go masturbate over hilary duff and you will find out how sexy she is

[coksukka]

olsen twins are hot let me have sex with them but i have seen better hilary duff so sexy really hot i want sex with her so much lindsay lohan okay but puffy nipples hilary duff so hot masturbate over her and you will see how sexy she is

[olsentwinsfan]

you SICK FUCKS YOU SHOULD ALL GET A LIFE YOU GAY FAGGOTS GO AND GET A REAL FUCKING GIRLFRIEND

[RedZepprin]

Wait a minute -- you mean to tell me there are still little girls out there who give a shit about the Olsens? Wow...

[mouf]

^^^ I'm a grown man and I also give a shit about the Olsen twins...in that I want to put it in their respective moufs.

[me lolo]

I just fall on this article and what a waste of word s it is... I'll prefer not to be writing such things like just the title.. Are you so mad ? let's ??? who ? do you respect anything ?

[asdf]

ROLF!!! I find it funny that this argument has gone on for four years.

[Anonymous]

haha yeah it is funny who cares about the olsen twins? if you want to fuck them think about it in your head dont tell everyone else lol when this was started i dont think they wanted to know how much people want to lick their pussies or wank in their mouths

[Dino]

Shut the fuck man, Don't even know what your problem is Get a life! i would do them any day!

[Byron's Fucker]

The Olsens are nice and most people like them. Everyone that doesn't like them, is jealous of them. They haven't done anything wrong and are very cute. Byron is just a fucked-up asshole and started this pathetic topic. I'd say we rather hunt and kill Byron Crawford! Go back to Africa you fucking ape!

[JustMe]

I can't look at these girls without getting hard and having to jerk off. This has been going on for years. Hoped it would end but they just keep getting hotter and hotter. Just the picture at the top of the page got me going. Hope they burn out before I do. They are just so cute and perfect!

[Becky]

I find it quite funny that the people defending Mary Kate & Ashley are either dutch or about eight years old. The Olsen twins freak the fuck out of me personally.