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Making the Band 2: Season 3 - Episode 3: Episode Summary

Making the Band 2 Season 3 / Episode 3 Frickin' Touched By God

In episode 3, Da Band continues its flying saucer tour, Sara has problems w/ everybody else in Da Band smoking and everybody else in Da Band has problems w/ her cp time and just being a huge psycho hose beast in general.

The first scene pretty much sums the whole thing up. Steve Urkel knocks on Sara's hotel room door.

Urkel: Sara, you ready yet?

Sara: No, how much time we got?

Urkel: Um, we were supposed to be gone 10 minutes ago.

So they get down to the van, everybody's smoking and acting like 8-year-olds, wrestling and shit. Sara's just kinda sitting there w/ her face screwed up looking all angry. And then they have to pull over every 15 minutes so that somebody can pee. Dylan apparently couldn't wait for a restroom to open up, so he just peed right there in the grass. Also, you can see him taking his hand from his unit to his cig and then putting the cig back in his mouth, which, as far as I'm concerned is tantamount to putting your own unit in your mouth.

Sara continues with her bitching. In a confessional, she complains "If I sing Mariah Carey and Whitney Houston songs right now, I'd sound like shit," which is true, but I don't know how much it has to do w/ her being around smokers. Babs responds "As much shit as Whitney Houston smokes..."

In another amusing scene from the tour van, Ness is sitting there eating fried chicken with that "nigga w/ a box of Popeye's" look of complete and utter satisfaction on his face while Chopper tries light his black w/ Fred's square. Now, if that's not black culture, then I don't know what is. I'm surprised they're even showing this shit on TV. Enjoy it while it last, people.

The smoke bothers Sara, so she has somebody, I think Ness, crack a window. But then Chopper was like, "Fuck that shit, I'm not catching pneumonia for you" and rolls it back up. Sara then threatens to smack the black out of Chopper's mouth, to which he responds that if she touches him, he'll, I don't know, slap her or something. I can't remember.

Now they're at some hotel. Sara complains to Urkel about Da Band smoking and claims her voice is "frickin' touched by God" and she's not going to let anybody screw it up with their damn cigarettes. On the real, Urkel should've just went and bought that bitch one of those gas masks that they were selling back in post-9/11 NYC and been like "Here bitch, wear this and shut the fuck up." At least that's what I would've done.

Oh shit, Sara's ign'ant ass husband Tony shows up! On a side not, I'd just like to say that it's special to me whenever I see two light skinded niggas hook up like that. They must've met back in the '80s. Also, what's up with homeboy's hair (get a comb, nigga!) and that dumbass jacket he's always wearing.

One of the better scenes of the season so far takes place when Ign'ant Tone confronts Steve Urkel about the smoking issue and Urkel's all like "Sara's not perfect either. It's compromises made." Shit got tense there for a second; I thought something might've been about to pop off between the two of them.

Then, finally, here comes Sara waltzing down the hall w/ her gut hanging out of her shirt looking all angry. I guess Ign'ant Tone tells her that Urkel told him that she was late to every city, which she took to mean that she somehow got to the actual city late despite the fact that she's riding in the van as everbody, so she's like "No, that's not true. Dylan's late to every city." Now either she's extremely dumb or she's being a little bit disingenuous (sp?).

Off to Da Band's next engagement, which as far as I can tell involves standing on this little stage drinking champagne (probably J. Roget or some shit) at somebody's little rinky dink ghetto bar. Some champion among men probably saw how ridonkulous the whole situation was and decided to throw his drink on Sara, to which she responds the same way any 8-year-old would ("Somebody threw their drink on me!").

Nobody up on stage seems to notice or give a shit, so she goes and gets security--the two oldest black men you'll ever see on MTV (RIP JJ Jackson). They come and snatch the guy up and drag him out the bar by his ear. It would've been awesome if they had shown them out back stomping the guy, but I guess that would've been a little too cool for even MTB2.

They do show a bunch of security guys with guns drawn while Da Band makes a break for the back door and to their waiting limousine. They all make it back, but they can't take off until Chopper gets done w/ his shouting match w/ some fat chick. She was probably just trying to let him know how wack his album is and how much of a modern day sambo he is.

So after all this, Poppa Diddy Pop brings 'em back to NY for a little "reality check" that basically involves them moving into one of his Park Avenue mansions. Some reality check! I wonder if this is the same kind of reality check he used to give Shyne before he went all crazy shooting at shit. So they move into Diddly's crib, which has interior decor right out of one of those Real World houses (were they designed by the same gay guy?).

Ok, next scene: LOL at Sara laying up in this nigga's crib talking all greasy about him and shit. Diddy Pop shows up w/ chicken and she all acts like she doesn't want to come downstairs and once she finally does (after Diddly threatens to send her home) she pulls her little stuck-up 8-year-old routine at the dinner table.

OK, let me go ahead and break it down for any 8-year-old woods who might be reading this (probably the only people who read this). And keep in mind that I'm aware of the fact that she's only partially black, which is probably the source of a lot of her craziness (think of any Halfrican-Americans you know, see what I'm saying?), but hold up, this nigga let you live in his little Park Avenue wealth addict mansion and then he shows up the next day...with chicken!

Seriously, Diddy or somebody should've went ahead and did the right thing and just slapped her. And I'm not saying that because I'm some kind of person who likes to see women get slapped on TV, but because it's true. Every once in a while, a women needs a good man to "lay hands on 'em" or else their sense of reality gets a little bit skewed.