Even a broken clock is right twice a day
This year, Black History Month is all about biting the hand that feeds.
Beyoncé's little sister Solange kicked things off the other day by going off on racially insensitive New York Times writer Jon Caramanica for some shit he said on a podcast three or four years ago.
Arguably, Beyoncé also took part, by debuting a video in which she takes a bold stance against police brutality a day before she was scheduled to perform at the Super Bowl, where she appeared with umpteen dancers dressed as if they were members of the Black Panthers' street-walker division.
Last night, Kanye West kicked things into overdrive by randomly declaring on Twitter that Bill Cosby is innocent . . . in other words, America's dad didn't really have "noncon" sex with upwards of 60 women, as he's been accused; they're making that shit up, possibly because he once tried to buy NBC.
Many a Twitter finger that's already sore from trying to write about Beyoncé as if she were a real artist will now be forced to take Kanye to task, thus exacerbating the severity of the condemnation.
And only two days before his new album supposedly hits stores.
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Kanye might eventually be forced to claim that he was just bullshitting the Internets, or that his Twitter was hacked, but I could definitely see him believing that—as Hillary Clinton might put it—there's a vast right wing conspiracy to falsely accuse Bill Cosby of rape.
Kanye hails from Chicago, which has long been a haven for black conspiratorial thinkers. It's where "Calypso" Louis Farrakhan lives, and the Honorable Elijah Muhammad before him.
The streets are overrun with child gangbangers who often employ masonic imagery. Their exploits are reported on ad nauseum by the media, as part of a scheme to take away our guns.
A while back, many members of Jennifer Hudson's family were killed in an incident that seemed more like a satanic ritual than your garden variety drug deal gone wrong.
It wouldn't be the first time Kanye has spouted something along the lines of a conspiracy. He spent much of the Yeezus tour, once he realized he'd be playing to half-empty stadiums, ranting and raving about how shadowy forces in the fashion industry were trying to prevent him from starting his own clothing line.
This is how Kanye gets when he's desperate. He's got a new album coming out tomorrow, supposedly, and the general consensus is that it'll suck balls compared to the rest of his oeuvre, and that Amber Rose assplay tweet might be the most interesting thing he's involved with from here on out.
His last few tweets leading up to the Cosby tweet, and the few he's posted since, as of this writing, were all erratic in nature, if not on a par with defending Cosby. There's some shit about how he's the greatest artist of the 21st century; praise for a Lebron James tennis shoe, like he might be regretting having signed with Adidas to make those house shoes; and a picture of himself in a recording booth with a flame emoji taped up on the wall, like he might be making a song about how Bill Cosby is innocent.
Please lord, let him be making a song about how Bill Cosby is innocent.
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Technically, what Kanye said is correct.
According to the Constitution of the United States of America, of which there are so many amendments (sometimes it can be difficult to choose which one to plead), a suspect is innocent until proven guilty, and Bill Cosby has never once in his life been convicted of rape.
He's going on 80 years old, without so much as a lewd-conduct offense. That's gotta count for something!
In the black community, we give ourselves credit for things other races of people take for granted. Black men commit conspicuous acts of parenting their own children and then post pictures of them on Instagram. Premium Pete, an honorary black man (if no longer good enough for the Combat Jack Show), also does this.
Speaking of prison . . . Having made it into your adulthood without getting locked up is considered an accomplishment on a par with having graduated from college, though—as Chris Rock once famously pointed out—getting released from prison is considered even more of an accomplishment.
The CACs currently typing up their BS think pieces about how they're done with Kanye, or how they're struggling to reconcile Kanye's tacit approval of rape (don't let me find out he was at the pro-rape rally) with their love of rap music made by people who can't rap, don't understand this, because they're willfully ignorant of any aspect of black culture that can't be appreciated ironically. Why else would racially insensitive New York Times writer Jon Caramanica tell Solange not to bite the hand that feeds?
When is it ever a good idea for a white man to tell a black woman not to bite the hand that feeds, unless it's part of some weird S&M role-playing scenario?
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I checked Twitter within an hour of the COSBY INNOCENT tweet, and already there were several people talking about how they were done with Kanye, how Kanye must be on drugs, how they want to choke Kanye, so on and so forth.
My problem with these people is twofold.
1) I don't like their tone.
Many of these tweets read to me like, "Since when did I give Kanye permission to declare that Bill Cosby is innocent?" as if it's necessary for him to check with them before he tweets something, rather than simply, "I'm upset because Kanye said something that I disagree with."
2) I don't think their problem with Cosby is that he's a rapist.
I don't recall CACs haranguing other CACs for eating at Subway (which, I can report, they still do) when it was announced that Jared was a kiddie fiddler. The guy from that show 7th Heaven admitted to having molested a number of children, and they didn't even pull his show from syndication. He's still out here cashing checks!
Bill Cosby is in fact innocent, until it can be proven in a court of law that he really did roofie a girl and jerk off onto her feet, or whatever weird shit he's been accused of, which, good luck with that. But these kids who are so upset with Kanye could give a rat's ass about the Constitution. They want to see a brother go from accusation of wrongdoing straight to execution, with no due process, like it was back during (the original) Jim Crow.
Kanye realizes this, and he's using it to bait them, because he fears what they'll have to say about his new album. He could care less about the consequences, because his career as a viable recording artist has already been over for a few years now anyway, and it's not like he needs the money.
As long as Kim Kardashian doesn't try to pull a Robin Givens on him, he'll be alright.